DEAR HARRIETTE: My work causes me to take four business trips throughout the year. Other co-workers have much more frequent, and shorter, trips to New York, Miami and Dallas. I consider myself lucky that I only have to travel quarterly and for a few days at a time. I have been at this job for just over a year now, and every time I have gone away, I Skype with my wife. I am typically away for four to five days, and each time I’ve gone away, my wife has broken down.

She does miss me, but she is mostly stressed because I am not there to split chores with her, so she must work and take care of our three young children alone. She does not want to take days off when we could use those on a family vacation. What can I do to make my business trips bearable instead of dreadful for my wife and stressful for me? Everything seems to unravel at home when I leave, and it affects my performance at work. – Traveling Father, Detroit

DEAR TRAVELING FATHER: You may be able to help the family by getting your wife help. If a family member lives nearby, ask him or her to step in when you are away. Or hire someone to support with housework and the children. She may not like this at first, but she has to learn to adjust to your schedule. When you talk to her, stay positive and assure her that it will all work out. Select a helper who is strong and compassionate.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a personal assistant whom I rely on for many things, mostly scheduling. As I was on my way to the airport for a family vacation, he called me and frantically explained he forgot to buy a ticket for one of my children. After I spent a good half-hour negotiating a seat, the flight went off without a hitch. Upon arrival, the rooms that I had wanted booked didn’t have the proper number of beds in them.

I was very angry with my assistant, but I wanted to enjoy my vacation, so I told him I’d speak to him when I got back. My wife and mother-in-law told me to spare him because he’s young, and this is the first mistake he’s made. I was still angry. I pay him pretty well, and he has reasonable hours. Should I give him another chance or fire him for not doing what I ask him to? These two fumbles could have ruined my vacation. – Mad Boss, Dallas

DEAR MAD BOSS: This is not the moment for a firing. Instead, it is the perfect time for teaching. Your assistant messed up. Talk to him about the importance of paying attention to details. Explain to him what his checklist should look like so that he doesn’t miss important duties. There is a good chance that he doesn’t know how to think through all of the moving parts the way that you consider to be basic steps. Teach him how to take care of you. And go over your schedule with him before each major activity until you feel confident that he has it under control.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.