DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle, who always used to be the life of the party and a fairly slim man, has turned into a total recluse and supposedly ballooned in weight after my aunt filed for divorce. I wouldn’t know what he looks like because he doesn’t want relatives coming over and seeing him. I miss him and worry this weight gain will have more damaging effects than he anticipated, like on his health and self-esteem. I thought about sending him a care package and a card so that he will still know we are thinking about him. My mother told me that sending a package is cold when we can just drive over and see him. I don’t want to start a family feud, but I want to make sure my uncle is OK without overstepping his boundaries. Should I go behind my mother’s back and send her brother a card? – Missing Uncle, Roxbury, Mississippi

DEAR MISSING UNCLE: You should follow your heart. If you would like to send your uncle a card saying that you are thinking about him, go for it. Invite him to go out with you. Ask if he needs anything. As far as your mother is concerned, if she wants to go visit him, she can try that. If enough people reach out to your uncle during this stressful period, hopefully somebody will get through.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: My sisters and I have been thinking of going into business together. We have always talked about how fun it would be to have a family business, and now all of us have reached times in our lives where we are able to make this happen. I hate to be the secret Debbie Downer in all of this excitement, but I am not sure if this business venture will work out. The financial risk isn’t horrible, and I don’t want to be the only one out of four sisters to bow out of this family business. Also, if it turned out to be a success, I would never hear the end of it! I haven’t shared my feelings with my family yet, but I have a 70 percent feeling that this venture isn’t going to work. Should I just give some money to maintain family unity? I don’t want to ostracize myself from my sisters. – Sister Biz, Cincinnati

DEAR SISTER BIZ: Think of yourself as being practical. Rather than presenting as Debbie Downer, ask your sisters to have a meeting to discuss the business idea. During this meeting, express your doubts about the viability of the business. Be sure that you have more than your gut instinct to point to your concerns. Do your research so that you can present your concerns as objectively as possible. Ultimately, if your sisters decide to go ahead with the business, you will have to decide what you will do. If you are willing to lose a small amount of money as you show your support, contribute. If you are completely against the whole idea, don’t.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.