DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a six-floor apartment building. Recently, the fire alarms have been going off more than necessary, forcing everyone to exit their homes while the fire department assesses whether there is a fire. There never is. I suspect one of the new neighbors is pulling the alarm, but I cannot imagine why. I dont have enough evidence to make a legitimate claim, but they come home in the early morning (around 4 a.m. on the weekends), and the alarm is usually pulled by 5 a.m. This has been happening for almost two months, and I am sick of being roused when there is most likely no danger. When the fire department comes again, I want to tell my landlord or perhaps the firefighters my suspicions about the neighbors. I would disclaim that I know it’s not concrete evidence, but worth looking at. Should I make this claim? These fire alarms are driving me nuts. – No Fire, Queens, New York

DEAR NO FIRE: You have a legitimate concern. As a neighbor in the building, you also have a responsibility to speak up if you believe foul play is involved. One way to do this without getting personally entangled in the drama is to contact local authorities anonymously. You can call 311 and report the potential tampering with the fire alarm. When asked to share your personal information, you can decline, saying that you would rather be anonymous.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I am going through a divorce for the first time in my life. I still love my soon-to-be exhusband, but certain aspects of our relationship make it impossible to stay together. Believe me, I’ve tried for years! My sister likes to check in on me and how I’m doing, which I am thankful for, but she says things that rub me the wrong way. Shell say, “I’m so happy you’re over this and you can move on,” or “This is great; everything is almost finalized, and you’ll never have to think about it again.” She went through a less-than-amicable divorce and seems to think this is the only way two people can split. I am still heartbroken that I am almost split from my husband, and I think my sister needs to be more sensitive. What should I say? A huge part of my life is ending, and she mistakes my kindness for me not being over my ex-husband. – Different Divorces, Boston

DEAR DIFFERENT DIVORCES: You need to have a talk with your sister to let her know that her experience of divorce is very different from yours, and you think she is making assumptions about yours that are inaccurate. Explain that you are feeling vulnerable and extremely sad about this turn of events in your life. Tell her that it is not helpful for her to make the dismissive kinds of comments that she regularly offers. Ask her, instead, to simply check in to see how you are doing. Rather than making assumptions and comments based on those assumptions, perhaps she can listen and respond to what you actually say.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.