DEAR ABBY: I am a 63- year-old man living with a 28-year-old woman. She has three children — ages 2, 6 and 7. They live with us every other weekend. I have fallen in love with them. We are planning on getting married soon, and I want to be sure the kids are secure when I’m gone. I have an erectile dysfunction problem. She says she doesn’t care about sex, but I’m worried she will stray. I was 28 once, and that’s all I thought about. I’m afraid she is marrying me for her own benefit — the house, Social Security and my business. I love her and her children

DEAR TOO GOOD: If you have ANY doubts about marrying this woman, then you shouldn’t do it. However, if you do decide to marry her, first discuss this with

your legal adviser and be sure you have an ironclad prenuptial agreement. As to providing for her little ones in the event of your demise, discuss that with a lawyer who specializes in wills and trusts and who can advise you about the best way to leave money/assets in trust for them after they have reached a certain age — so the money can’t be dissipated prematurely.

DEAR ABBY: Our parents have been dead for 25 years. Along the way, we have also lost sisters, nieces and cousins. Every year when we gather for a family

reunion, part of it is a candle lighting and spoken remembrance of those loved ones we have lost. Some in my family get teary-eyed or cry. My husband refuses to attend my family reunions because of this. He says my relatives have issues and need to see a mental health professional. He makes fun of us and the way we are together. I have a large family with many offspring. Do you agree we are “crazy” for the remembrance and the tears? — LOVES MY FAMILY IN GEORGIA

DEAR LOVES: No, I do

not. During a ceremony such as you have described, tears can be a healthy display of emotion. However, I do think your husband’s comments are insensitive and judgmental, and he’s doing the right thing for everyone by staying away. Feeling as he does, far away is where he belongs.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, who is a Realtor, is upset because a couple of our best friends listed their home with someone else. My wife feels they should have had the decency to at least notify her that they were going to give the listing to another Realtor. My wife had sold

them their home a few years ago. Your thoughts, please? — MIFFED IN MIAMI

DEAR MIFFED: No law says this couple was obligated to have your wife represent them. I suspect that they didn’t inform your wife because they wanted to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. If she would like to know the reason they listed their home with someone else, she should ask them. It’s possible the other Realtor offered services beyond what your wife does.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 24- year-old single mother of an amazing 3-year-old girl. I have had more than my share of turmoil with her father. We are no longer together, and he isn’t in the picture. Abby, I feel damaged. I’m afraid I will never love again or find anyone to love me the way I need. My daughter is my shadow. We are literally joined at the hip. She’s lonely, always around adults and has no one her age to play with. I really want to have another child. While I may never have the right man to father one, I’d like to save a life and adopt another

daughter and playmate for my little girl. Some people may see me as too young or unable to do it. But the love, care and providing for my child exceed anything I’ll ever do in my life. What do you think? — MATERNAL MIDWESTERNER

DEAR M.M.: To adopt a child for the reason you have stated would be a terrible disservice to an innocent child. If you want your little girl to learn to make friends with other children, then enroll her in day care, where she will be exposed to some. As to your feeling that you are damaged and will never find love again, many women feel as you do after a bad breakup. Most of them heal, learn from their experience and go on to have fulfilling lives. In your case, it may take the help of a therapist to find your selfconfidence again. But trust

me, it can be done. Another child is not the answer to what’s ailing you right now.

DEAR ABBY: My 35- year-old sister accompanied me to see the doctor because I told her I have been having thoughts of harming myself. While we were there, the doctor expressed concern about the amount of strong prescription painkillers I have been taking. He brought up my record, and it showed I have picked up this medication four times in the last month. Abby, my sister has been getting these pills, not me!

In the past, she ordered them and picked them up for me when I was unable to do it myself, but I had no idea she has been collecting more in my name until today. I didn’t want to get her in trouble, so I didn’t admit the truth to the doctor, but then he started to insist that my sister keep any medications I have under lock and key “in case I decide to harm myself.” I don’t know what to do. She made me promise not to tell anyone, and I don’t want to get her into trouble. Please help. — ANXIOUS IN ENGLAND

DEAR ANXIOUS: Straighten this out with your doctor immediately! Do not try to “protect” your sister. There are programs for health care workers who become addicted to drugs, and she needs to get into one right now. If you need medications, you will have to arrange for someone other than your sister to dole them out — another relative, a friend, pharmacist, whomever. Your doctor may be able to suggest someone.

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