DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a 5-year-old daughter I’ll call Mandy. Her father and I separated when she was 16 months old and now we are divorced. I am newly engaged to a wonderful man and very happy.

I have just learned that my ex is having a baby boy with a woman he has stated he does not love and isn’t even in a committed relationship with. I would like to protect Mandy from any pain this might cause her because she is a Daddy’s girl.

How should I deal with this and maintain my composure regarding the sibling who will now forever be a part of my daughter’s life (and mine)?

— STRESSED OUT IN

SAN DIEGO

DEAR STRESSED OUT: It is not appropriate to show your disgust with this situation to your daughter. Because your ex has gone on record that he doesn’t love the woman he impregnated, and he is not in a committed relationship with her, you may be worrying needlessly. He will have a financial obligation to his son, but whether he’s willing to be a father in the best sense of the word we don’t know.

If Mandy interacts with her half brother she will have to learn to SHARE, which is an important life lesson every child must learn sooner or later.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 40- something divorced female. After my divorce I met a man I enjoyed being with. He led me to believe he cared for me and I bought into it. It was a vulnerable time for me and, unfortunately, I let my guard down. I did something stupid and co-signed for a student loan for him. He has stopped making payments, has blocked my calls, moved, etc., and now I’m stuck with the financial burden.

I have learned that he had a fiancee while we were involved and they are now married. Abby, he was bilking me the whole time.

I need to know what legal recourse I have. I know where he lives and possibly where he works, so if he needs to be served with papers, he can be found. I regret that I didn’t keep my guard up, and I don’t feel he should get away with this. What should I do now?

— LET MY GUARD

DOWN IN OHIO

DEAR LET YOUR GUARD DOWN: It appears you have been the victim of a fraud. If I were you, the first thing I’d do is share his address with the loan company.

Then I’d discuss this matter with the police to find out if he has a history of bilking women and if I could file charges. If that isn’t possible, the next thing I’d do is talk with a lawyer about any legal remedies available to me. And that’s what I’m advising you to do.

DEAR ABBY: My wife revealed on my 60th birthday two days ago that she has $10,000 in cash hidden in our house. She said she secretly took the money from my pay and consulting checks and hid it when we were going through a bad period in our marriage 10 years ago and nearly divorced.

I told her there is no rational reason for keeping that much money in the house. She says she’s keeping it for an emergency, and it makes her feel secure. When I said we should invest the money, she got upset.

I can’t understand why anyone would want to keep that much cash in the house. What’s your view?

— LIVING IN “FORT

KNOX”

DEAR LIVING: To understand your wife’s motivation, look back 10 years to the time when she may have felt she’d need the money to get a new start. That’s the “emergency” the money was salted away for.

I agree that $10,000 is a lot of cash to keep in the house. Most of it should be in the bank, with only a portion in the house so it will be immediately available if needed. Unless your wife feels your marriage is still shaky, I can’t see why she wouldn’t compromise. Could that be her reason?

DEAR ABBY: I am a 15- year-old girl with a good life. There are bumps in the road, but they happen and I accept that. The thing I worry about is my me-maw. She’s getting very old and thinks she will be dying soon.

I try to tell her not to think that way. I really love her and don’t know what I would do if she were gone so soon. I go to her house every summer, winter, and anytime we’re out of school.

I need to get a job this summer, and I don’t know how to tell my me-maw I won’t be coming to visit without hurting her feelings. She is one of those people who don’t show their emotions like most of my family, so I know when she sometimes says it’s OK it really isn’t. Please tell me what to say to her.

— CONCERNED

GRANDCHILD IN ALA.

DEAR CONCERNED GRANDCHILD: You are sweet, thoughtful and sensitive, but you are also growing up. Your grandmother may be talking the way she is because of her age — or she may be concerned about her health and trying to prepare you.

It’s time to ask your parents what is going on with her. If she’s really sick, you may want to postpone getting that job until next summer. If she’s not, you should explain to Me-maw that you love her and treasure the special times you have been able to spend with her — but as much as you’d like to, you will not be able to do it this summer because you need to get a job. It’s part of becoming an adult and will help you to learn responsibility and independence.

As a loving grandparent, she knows how important that is for you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a hairdresser, and one of my clients who considers herself to be my good friend handed me a birthday card. Stuck on the envelope was a sticky note with my name written on it, covering whatever name was underneath. On the card, under “Happy Birthday” was her signature — again on a sticky note. She said she thought the card was funny and too good not to use again, so I should pass it on, too.

I am hurt and insulted. Am I taking this too seriously? I want my OWN birthday card!

— SHOCKED IN FLA.

DEAR SHOCKED: Your client was trying to be thoughtful, or she wouldn’t have remembered it was your birthday. Be grateful for what you got. She didn’t mean to insult you — in a weird way she was trying to do you a favor.

DEAR READERS: To all of you who are observing Memorial Day with me on Monday, please join in reflecting for a moment on those members of our armed forces who have sacrificed their lives in service to our country. Bless their spirits, and may they live forever in our hearts.

Dear Abby at www.Dear-
Abby.com or P.O. Box
69440, Los Angeles, CA
90069.