I have a disease that caused my immune system to destroy my liver cells. There is no way to predict whether my liver will fail in five days or five years. Would it be wrong to date knowing I have this disease? There is no cure, just a liver transplant if my liver fails completely.
Also, if it’s OK to date, when should I tell someone about my illness? I have no friends because at some point they will see me jaundiced and sick, and I would have to burden them with my health issues or lie.
— NEWLY SEPARATED
IN MONTANA
DEAR NEWLY SEPARATED: You are allowing your illness to rule your life, and that’s not a prescription that’s healthy for anyone. Many people suffer from health problems, but they don’t cut themselves off from relationships as you have.
Yes, you can date. If it looks like there could be a future, you should bring up the subject of your health at that time. But in the meantime, my advice is to make every effort to enjoy the time you have.
DEAR ABBY: In my mother’s opinion, I have a problem. I have prominent nipples that show through shirts. I wear a padded bra, but it doesn’t help. I don’t want to wear a heavier padded bra because I am big-busted already.
Honestly, the situation doesn’t bother me. It’s part of being me and no different than having a unibrow or ears that stick out. It’s not sexual. Should I worry about what others think about this?
— MY EYES ARE
UP HERE!
DEAR UP HERE: No. As you are probably already aware, anyone’s nipples can become rigid if there’s a change in the temperature. It doesn’t necessarily signal arousal. If you are comfortable, then keep dressing the way you do. This appears to be your mother’s problem. Do not let her anxiety rub off on you.
DEAR ABBY: As an older male retiree, I frequently encounter people at social gatherings who tilt their heads back, narrow their eyes and ask, “Exactly what was it that you did at XYZ Corporation?” When they find out I was what they consider to be “just a paper-pusher,” they abruptly turn their backs and walk away. Can you suggest an appropriate response to this form of snobbery?
— PAPER-PUSHER
IN ARIZONA
DEAR PAPER-PUSHER: When someone asks that question, you might smile and respond, “You know, I’m having such a great time in retirement, I can’t really recall what I did there!” Or, if you’re feeling mischievous, you could call out after the person, “Just kidding! I was the CEO.” And if the person turns to come back, turn YOUR back and walk away because, if your perception is correct, you have been conversing with someone who has terrible manners and no class.
Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com
Comments are not available on this story. Read more about why we allow commenting on some stories and not on others.
We believe it's important to offer commenting on certain stories as a benefit to our readers. At its best, our comments sections can be a productive platform for readers to engage with our journalism, offer thoughts on coverage and issues, and drive conversation in a respectful, solutions-based way. It's a form of open discourse that can be useful to our community, public officials, journalists and others.
We do not enable comments on everything — exceptions include most crime stories, and coverage involving personal tragedy or sensitive issues that invite personal attacks instead of thoughtful discussion.
You can read more here about our commenting policy and terms of use. More information is also found on our FAQs.
Show less