There she was, the manager of the restaurant. Eyes glimmering with profit pleasure, she was glad to see the parade of meeting guests enter her banquet space. In hopes of profits, she had fixed our breakfast, all right. A each one entered, she knew the exact ring of the cash register. Her 7 a.m. cash cow had just arrived, and she was in her glory. At a fixed price, making money had just gotten easier.

And the best part was that she could blame the whole thing on someone else – her customer. Like the Wicked Witch of the West, her crooked profit finger shook with sheer joy as if to say: “I’ll fix you, you little English muffin trouble maker!”

I couldn’t help but think: Why cut off the hand that’s fed you? My English muffin purchase the week before was high profit. At $9.76, my check was higher than everyone else’s. It was a penalty charge for the crime: Failure to pig out.

This morning, no glossy menus adorned our place at the table. There were no choices to be made. She had the group right where she wanted it – like a controlled herd – she had done the ultimate. She had rolled out the feeding trough, better known as the breakfast buffet.

Buffets are the ultimate in easy money for restaurants. At a fixed price, people can eat to their heart’s content. And as for those who don’t want to eat so much – well, you just take what you want, but you still must pay. Pig out or pay had made way to pig out and pay.

It was hardly an Emeril Lagasse production. You couldn’t feel the love. It was the basic of basic feeding troughs: withered fruit, muffins of all kind except the beloved English (darn!), scrambled eggs, pancakes and breakfast meat. I grabbed a plate, and dutifully herded to the trough as people around me sought out the ketchup. Her profit scheme seemed flawless.

The meeting began, but was soon interrupted. The manager entered, steam coming from her ears. She had been thrown an unexpected curve ball. A regular customer (allegedly) had given her a newspaper article – and she was not happy. She announced that the author was “ignorant,” regular customers were upset, this space was like banquet space, and if you didn’t want to eat you were still expected to pay. She would have a word with the culprit following the meeting, and no longer would the author be welcome in her restaurant.

Hmmm, I wondered. Could she be talking about me? Seems that I hadn’t mentioned the name of the restaurant in the article, so how would a regular customer know? Not wanting to pay for food because I didn’t want to eat? No, this couldn’t be me. I had, in fact, paid more than everyone else. “Ignorant” – is that any way to talk about a customer, much less announce to a group? Toughen up, lady. Hasn’t anyone ever done a restaurant review on you? The restaurant’s name is mentioned in those. So much for hospitality – this was full-court press hostility and she was looking for the slam dunk. The group had feasted their ears on her distorted sound bite like a gospel preached – they pledged their support.

The check arrived. There before my eyes – the truth revealed. Everyone was charged the same price: $9.67. To the penny, this was the exact amount I had paid for the now infamous English muffin a few weeks before! I looked around at my colleagues, sticker shock was written on their face.

The meeting ended. But the manager had to finish me off first. “You ruined it for the whole group” she said, and the meeting president echoed. “I ordered an English muffin, paid $9.76 for it, which was more than everyone else’s meal a few weeks ago – so how did I ruin it for the group?” I asked. Her reply: “You’re required to order a meal”!!! Like a sheep led to the slaughter, clearly I was the sacrificial lamb.

Banned from the restaurant, the letter arrived from the business group: Grounds for dismissal: “Failure to display a positive and supportive attitude by failing to order a meal.”!!!!!!

I may be dumb – but I just don’t get this. What’s so hard about plopping an English muffin in the toaster, charging a fair price, and making a customer happy? Whatever happened to freedom of speech? Are people no longer able to complain about injustice?

A visit to this chain restaurants website stated their shared values: Always focused on satisfying the need of their customers and guests, they continually strive to be the best, and they treat everyone with respect. Might it be time for this restaurant manager – in hopes of profits – to revisit these shared values? A costly English muffin – yes – but I wonder who will pay in the long run.