Windham Community Officer Matt Cyr asked an assembly of Windham parents a peculiar question March 12.

“How many parents here would take your kids, whatever age, drive them down to New York City, drop them off and say, ‘See ya, have a nice time’?” he asked to illustrate the potential perils of the Internet.

In a his talk at the Windham High School auditorium, Cyr compared the Internet to a window. People can look out this window at the world, but the world can also look back through it.

At least one set of eyes were widened by Cyr’s words.

“Parents need to invade their kids privacy,” said Patti Fortier of Windham about Internet safety.

Cyr said parents need to educate themselves about online danger and keep close tabs on their childrens’ Web browsing activities.

The problem, Cyr said, is children know their way around the Internet a lot better than their parents.

“We grew up with computers,” said Damon Spinney, 15, of Windham.”It’s all second nature to us.” He uses instant messenger, the gaming device Xbox Live which connects to the Internet, MySpace and Facebook and said his mom worries about online dangers but he feels confident that he knows how to protect himself.

Stalked by predators

Citing the Internet safety Web site Netsmartz.org, Cyr said 1-in-5 children on the Internet is solicited for sex. He said child predators have developed a variety of methods to target children online.

Cyr also showed a video where an expert used the limited information from an instant messenger profile and a few Web searches to find someone’s phone number, home address, number of siblings, and the time she would be home but her parents would not.

“I was pretty surprised at how fast they can get some information,” said Whitney Murray, 11, of Windham in response. She uses the Internet but avoids social networking Web sites like Facebook or Myspace and doesn’t see the point of them.

Her mother Kim Murray admitted that she’s not very good with computers, especially compared to her daughter.

“There’s always going to be child molesters,” said Justin Wells, 16, of Windham. He uses Xbox Live but not social networking Web sites. He said he regularly talks to other players online with his headset but doesn’t share anything beyond his first name and said he feels safe.

“It depends on how much information you give out,” he said.

Cyr said even though children are told not to reveal identifying information online, Profiles, login names and photographs posted online can unintentionally reveal a lot more than children realize. Sports jerseys, street numbers and license plates often end up in the background of photos and predators can use them to pinpoint a child’s location.

Thieves also use online photos to find good things to steal, according to Cyr.

School Resource Officer Jeff Smith, who is also the parent of a Windham teen, spoke about the attitudes of young people.

“They think they’re invincible and they think nothing bad is ever going to happen to them,” he said.

Cyr recounted a story from several years ago when two Windham girls developed an online friendship with someone they thought was a boy from New Hampshire named Jason.

After “Jason” told them he was going to be in Windham, the girls shared an address and a few hours later a 45-year-old minister pushed his way into the house.

“They kicked him where no man wants to be kicked,” said Cyr. He said the suspect fled but the girls wrote down his license plate number and he was caught and arrested.

Online gaming

Another avenue for child predators, according to Cyr, is the online video game world. Xbox Live and computer games like World of Warcraft allow players to interact with people all over the world, and some of them have bad intentions.

These games tend to build online friendships and players organize themselves into groups that play together, called clans or guilds. These groups often communicate with microphone headsets but Cyr said voice changers can be used to make people sound younger.

Smith said he doesn’t think children should talk to anyone online that they don’t know offline, but Windham teens like Spinney and Wells disagreed.

They said games like World of Warcraft require people to make online friends because they require disciplined teamwork to play.

“It’s pretty much another family,” said Spinney of his online friends.

Trolling for trouble

Cyr said rumors took a good week to circulate when he was in school, but now they can be spread instantly. Cyr said some kids, mostly teenage girls, use the Internet to bully their classmates, which includes spreading rumors, posting pictures without consent, stealing passwords and general harassment.

The strongest defense against cyber bullies, according to Cyr, is to ignore them.

“Don’t respond,” said Cyr. Cyberbullies, also known as “trolls,” get their kicks from the responses they generate. When their targets don’t respond, they get frustrated and often quit.

Cyr said some children share their password information with friends. If the friendship turns sour the account could be compromised and the victim will be blamed for bizarre Internet activity.

If someone makes threats online, Cyr said the victim needs to save the evidence. E-mails can be printed, saved to the desktop or a snapshot of the computer interface can be taken, known as a “screenshot.”

Social Networking

Social networking Web sites, such as Myspace and Facebook have long been the target of child safety groups as smorgasbords for child predators, but Cyr said the tides have changed.

“I’m not picking on these sites,” he said. “They’ve done a lot to make things better.”

Cyr said parents can use these Web sites to keep track of their children’s activities, both online and offline.

“It’s up to you as parents to get in there and learn the Web site,” said Cyr.

Smith said he knows his son’s passwords for these Web sites so he can check up on him. These Web sites allow a user’s profile to stay hidden to everyone except their friends. This can be found under privacy settings and he recommended it for all children.

“Myspace isn’t the problem, the parents are the problem,” said Smith. He said parents can use the Web site to find out what their children are up to. Some children post pictures of themselves drinking beer or talk about upcoming parties.

A handy tool for parents is the last login date on each profile. Cyr said some children will set up a dummy account for their parents to check on and have a second account for shenanigans. However, they don’t always remember to login to their dummy account and parents can use this to find out the truth.

Some cyber bullies set up mocking profile of victims. Smith said he called Myspace about a fake account of a Windham teacher and the profile was deleted before he could hang up the phone.

Parenting to the rescue

Parents need to establish rules for online activity, according to Cyr. One of the most important, he said, is to keep computers out of bedrooms and in public areas. Cyr said it’s also a good idea to invest in a big screen computer monitor so parents can see what their children are looking at.

“If you walk up behind them they are like ninjas with that mouse,” said Cyr.

Parents should also decide what kinds of Web sites are off limits, when and how long the Internet can be used and who they are allowed to talk to.

Cyr said he was disappointed with the low turnout at the meeting, less than 30 parents attended, and he informed the crowd that he’d like to get the message out to more people. Cyr said anyone interested in getting a group of parents together to hear his presentation on Internet safety can reach him at [email protected] or the Windham police station at 892-2525.

“I’m going to pay more attention,” said Larry Eliason of Windham after the presentation. He has two teenage sons and both have profiles on Myspace.