It was his moment to shine. I had anticipated it all day. And so, when I got to his classroom, I sat in the center of the front row with my camera in hand. I had received affirmation upon entering the school from his special education teacher: He was ready, excited, and very glad that mom would be there. It had been a long day, and I had rushed home from Bangor to be on time.

Besides, I really didn’t know much about the skunk. If anyone could give me the detailed and informative lowdown, it would be my son. Not only does he love animals, he enjoys reading and learning. For me, the skunk would be the animal that I would want to steer clear of. But for him, it was the animal he wanted to know a lot about. I don’t know why, of all of the animals, he chose the skunk – what goes on inside that brain of his always intrigues me.

And so the teacher began, noting that some parents had not yet arrived. She wouldn’t call a child forward unless their parents were there, because, yes, kids like to make their parents proud and what these second-graders were being asked to do wasn’t easy – standing up in front of a group of people and sharing their poem.

Gently coached by the teacher, each of these young children had his or her own style. Some hid their face behind their picture, another turned his back to the audience to read from the easel where he had placed his poster, one girl proudly said her poem completely from memory, and another child, frozen in fear uttered only two words. Every parent was proud, and all of the children were equally applauded.

One by one, the children came forward, as the teacher called their name, she handed them their poster. I saw the last poster, and thought in that moment, on the drive home, I’d be telling my son that his teacher had saved the best for last – this would be his special moment. But the poster wasn’t his, and another child jumped up. The teacher thanked all the children and invited the parents to now go with their children to their desk to see their entire research project. The children hastened to their desks as their parents followed.

I made my way to the teacher. “Did you forget someone?” I asked, gently.

“No, he wasn’t in the classroom when we did this part of the project,” she replied sympathetically, “He didn’t write a poem.”

Looking at his project, a poem was glued to the poster board. “What’s this?” I asked, pointing to the poem.

“He didn’t write it,” she said, but then quickly asked my son if he would like to read the poem to the class.

My son looked at her, shrugging his shoulders. It was his and my unspoken thought: Why be a burden in this messed up afterthought? I gulped wondering what the lesson was in this event: to be a poet or to learn public speaking? Or, perhaps something more.

Determined to be there for my son, I looked over his report as he explained the difference between the spotted skunk and the striped skunk. He spoke knowledgeably without using notes. The information was all in his head. I took a picture of him proudly holding his clay skunk, and left as other parents departed with their children.

When I got home, I called the teacher. It was time to advocate for my child and better educate his teacher on Asperger’s syndrome. “Was it an oversight on your part?” I asked, accepting that if this was the case, forgive and move on.

It was a communication breakdown with the special education department, mixed with a lack of understanding of Asperger’s syndrome on her part. It was time to educate.

Special education carries its own stigma, and that, on its own, stinks. Asperger’s syndrome is a developmental disorder that makes social interaction difficult. Unable to recognize verbal and non-verbal cues, and pick up on social norms, children with Asperger’s find forming and maintaining relationships, which they so desire, difficult. With average and above average intelligence, they thrive in a routine, detailed oriented environment, which later in life positions them well for acceptance at universities and fulfilling careers in the field of technology, engineering or as college professors. Historically, respected figures such as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, and Thomas Jefferson had symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome.

In this particular situation, my son’s teacher sees him in her regular classroom only 15-30 minutes a day – and for that reason, he was excluded from presenting his project. She didn’t think he could do it. This is disappointing. As his mother, I knew that this was his moment to shine. Why exclude him? Why exclude any child?

To me, my son is “special.” He’s funny and smart. Parents of children in special education know our children are special, and we, of course, want them to shine. It need not be solely for their academic abilities, but simply for who they are.