DEAR ABBY: My two adult granddaughters have rejected me, their doting grandfather. Their father gave me this explanation: “They are uncomfortable with the way you rub their shoulders and necks.”

These girls and both parents have misinterpreted my innocent expressions of affection, which haven’t changed since the girls were little. The only change is in their perception of my actions.

I am devastated. I asked twice to meet with these family members to discuss their concerns. It has been three months; no meeting time has been offered. There has been no contact, and neither girl has called me for any reason this year.

I can’t just stop loving those with whom I have forged a 20-year bond of affection. How can this rupture be repaired?

— GRIEVING

GRANDDAD

DEAR GRIEVING GRANDDAD: Clearly, there is a need for some professional mediation here, provided your granddaughters and their parents are willing. If your touches have been regarded as inappropriate, you should have been warned about it years ago. Obviously something has made your granddaughters uncomfortable, and the rupture won’t heal until it can be discussed

DEAR ABBY: Lately I have noticed that people are bringing their dogs shopping with them. I’m not talking about service dogs, but pets.

The other day, a woman brought her dog into the grocery store. While I’ll admit the little thing looked cute sitting in the shopping cart, someone else’s food will be in that cart next, and who knows where that dog’s feet have been?

Why does management allow this? I’m willing to bet money that if I were to bring my pit bull, “Bruiser,” inside the grocery store with me, I’d be stopped immediately. Talk about a double standard. I welcome your comments.

— ASKANCE IN POWAY,

CALIF.

DEAR ASKANCE: You should speak to the store manager and ask why it was permitted, because I was under the impression that health laws do not permit canines inside establishments that sell food — unless they are service dogs. “Bruiser” might be unwelcome not because of his size, but because there is concern about the breed’s reputation.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in love with “Richard” for 14 years. We broke up after we dated for a while because my alcoholic mother kept interfering. She kept telling me how “bad” he was for me — and I, thinking my mother had my best interests at heart, believed her.

After a divorce on my part and a breakup on his, we are now in a long-distance relationship. We hope to make our relationship permanent after getting to know each other again.

My problem is, when Richard is unhappy or upset with someone else, he takes it out on me. It doesn’t seem to matter what happened, he’ll pick a fight over something inconsequential. It drives me crazy.

I know what he’s doing; I just don’t know how to stop it. The latest flare-up involved the fact that his dog was missing, so he picked a fight with me because I “always tell him how nice the weather is where I live.”

He refuses to get counseling. What do I do?

— PULLING MY HAIR

OUT

DEAR PULLING: Your problem isn’t that Richard uses you as a scapegoat for his frustrations; it’s that you tolerate it. It’s possible that because of your mother’s alcoholism and the unpredictable behavior you were subjected to during your formative years, you have accepted Richard’s behavior.

Because he refuses counseling, YOU should get some. What he’s doing is not acceptable. It is emotional abuse. From my perspective, the healthiest thing you could do for yourself besides break up with Richard would be to keep the romance long-distance.

DEAR ABBY: I am a retired woman, active in my community and troubled by a recent incident involving a longtime friend. This is the third time it has happened, and it left me feeling embarrassed.

When we’re out together meeting new people, she will introduce herself as being a secretary or a senior secretary and me as “just” a receptionist. The job title is true, but I hold a college degree. I have held other positions commanding greater respect. I am chair of the local Council on Aging, a Town Meeting member and on the Cultural Council. The last time it happened, I had brought her to a lunch at a very nice restaurant, and the people we were meeting were members of my community.

Why does this make me feel so demeaned? Am I being petty or vainly pretentious? Right now I no longer want to continue the friendship. Can you help me understand and form a game plan? I think I may be too close to the forest to see the trees.

— MORE THAN A JOB

TITLE IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR MORE THAN A JOB TITLE: Your “friend” is insecure. That she describes you as “just” a receptionist is her attempt to make her own job designation appear more important. And THAT’S what is offensive.

You don’t need a “game plan” in dealing with her. “Just” tell her to cut it out or the friendship will be history. Whatever happens after that, your problem will be solved — one way or another.

To receive a collection of Abby’s most memorable — and most frequently requested — poems and essays, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby — Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.