DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I both have professional careers and are independent. We have been in a committed relationship for eight years now.

When we first met, I wasn’t looking to be in a relationship. He pulled all the stops to get me to date him. He was attentive, complimentary, dinner dates, movies, etc. He was the first to say “I love you.” Prince Charming had nothing on him.

When he knew I had finally fallen for him, the chase was over and everything came to a screeching halt. No more dates, no more I-love-yous. Everything he did to get me to fall in love with him stopped. The man I fell for doesn’t exist anymore.

If I ask him if he loves me, he tells me I shouldn’t be insecure and needy. I told him hearing the words mean a lot to me, but the words seem to have been deleted from his vocabulary.

Any suggestions on how I can get him to understand how I need to hear it from him?

— LONGING FOR ‘I LOVE YOU’

DEAR LONGING: You have already told your boyfriend what you need. Now it’s time to find out why he is unwilling to give it to you. Then ask yourself if you want to continue like this indefinitely, because he appears to have changed considerably. Is he the kind of husband you would want for a lifetime? If not, you might be better off with someone more responsive, because this appears to be the status quo, and the man has shown himself to be unlikely to change.

Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com