DEAR HARRIETTE: My family is very, very Italian. With our heritage comes darker, thicker hair. I consider the hair on my head a blessing, but have recently gotten comments regarding my arm hair – typically, girls do not have dark arm hair like mine. I was bullied about my arm hair in elementary school, but then grew nonchalant about it. I am not getting bullied now, but casual comments such as, “Did you miss a laser appointment?” or “Shouldn’t you wax your arms?” have been making me feel insecure. I do not mind it, but do not want boys to think I am gross because of how my arms look. Should I get rid of it for the sake of silence, or continue to deflect the comments? – All About That Hair, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR ALL ABOUT THAT HAIR: You have to do what is comfortable for you. It is true that in our culture, many women and even men choose to shave, wax or even permanently remove body hair, including from the arms. There are safe treatments for conducting this procedure. But that doesn’t mean that you should do them. Your decision should be based on your comfort level and your aesthetic choices.

Since hair does grow back under most circumstances, you could experiment and have it shaved once to see how you feel and how you feel about reactions to you. If you like it, you can continue. If not, you can simply grow it back. It is your choice.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I have gotten to the age where my friends have young children. When we go out to dinner, they always bring their children, even if it is to a fancier establishment. I am not a mother, and I have witnessed their kids in restaurants behaving poorly or even refusing to eat any of the food and causing a scene. The parents usually mitigate their childrens outbursts by handing them a phone or tablet to entertain themselves. I find this to be the worst way to handle the situation because it seems like two layers of disrespecting the restaurant. The first being the yelling and crying, the second being tablets and screens out on the dinner table. Is there anything I can say to the parents to prevent situations like this? – Dinner Disaster, Seattle

DEAR DINNER DISASTER: This is tricky in that I think it is a very good idea for parents to take their children out to eat on a regular basis. This is how they learn how to behave in a restaurant, how to engage a waiter, etc. Yet, if they haven’t had significant instruction and reinforcement at home, bedlam can ensue in public.

You may want to offer to support the dining experience by helping to engage the children. You could suggest to your friends, before the meltdowns, that you would like to present an alternative to screens, such as word games that everybody participates in, or storytelling at the table where each person – children included – build upon one story. This gets everybody thinking and activated. Helping rather than judging should ease the discomfort and may provide a means to a more wholesome experience for all.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.