— Barry Lopez S trange sights in my small flower beds have been alarming me. I always enjoyed the beauty of the natural world, the landscape in front of the house and one small area by the white fence. I have only a very small plot of earth for growing.

In late winter, I imagined the plants beneath the snow. I was madly impatient for the growing season to begin. As spring became summer I planned for a gorgeous garden. I am not a master gardener, although my family was. Growing up on a 100-acre farm, I have had some gardening experience. The beautiful floral landscape of my childhood becomes a never-fading memory.

I read heavily but this year my yard is a disaster! If you could see my flower beds you would know I am a dabbler not a master. There is no pageantry or the hypnotic beauty of flowers.

Every year I think that I am going to grow my best plot. I start out with hard work and a plan for astonishing beauty.

This year I watered, fertilized, deadheaded and tended to the garden’s needs, but the miracles of the seeds did not grow just as I imagined they would. My flowers never reached a moment of perfection. I have had an acquaintance with this piece of earth but perhaps I watered too much or fertilized too heavily. The flowers appeared, blossomed, faded and shriveled.

This year I had to learn to live with compromise and failure. Marigolds should provide a splurge of yellow that lasts past the first frost, but that did not happen. My peonies did not bloom. In place of gorgeous, pink, melon-size flowers, I had brown, penny-size buds that did nothing. I still cannot believe it.

Thank goodness the ornamental grass grew back after such a hard winter. I visit and revisit the so-called gardens. This year I even appreciate the tangled vines of the morning glories that I have been trying for years to get rid of. The vines wrap around anything. I even appreciate the little white flowers on those vines that grow up the side of the house.

However, as bad as things are, I did have beautiful, variegated blue-purple irises to place on my kitchen table. Somehow I did have fresh flowers. What a treat. Very few gladiolas survived and grew on the border of the fence. All summer I worked with salvia, hyacinth, marigolds, hyacinth, day lilies, pansies, spirea, dianthus and more.

Now, as we navigate the seasons, the seeds of another summer wait.

— Zaffie Hadiaris of Saco is the host of “Zaffie,” a weekly television talk show on Channel 3 Biddeford public access. It can also be seen at biddefordmaine.org. Contact Hadiaris at [email protected].