DEAR HARRIETTE: It has been a dream of mine to continue my college education in London. When I spoke to my mentors about my plans, they told me that it would not be a good idea because the American job market will not hold an international degree in the same regard as an American college degree. I respect my mentor, but I really think I should go to London and make my dream come true. Besides, I cannot let my friends down – this is all I have been talking about ever since I was 10 years old. What are your thoughts? Should I make my dream come true, or should I continue my college education in America with a focus on international studies? – A Dream Deferred, New York Cit y
DEAR A DREAM DEFERRED: Now is the time to listen to your heart and do your research. You should not think about whether you will be letting down your friends. People can change their minds if they choose. It is your life, not theirs. As far as your mentors, do some research to learn what they mean. If you are pursuing a degree in international studies at a British school that is acclaimed for this major, chances are that you will be well-placed in a job if you have a solid academic record. Figure out what the top schools are, and determine if you can afford to go, either because you can pay the tuition or you can secure scholarships or loans. Once you are prepared to make a decision, you will know what the best choice is for you.
• • •
DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to attend a small, intimate wedding in a few weeks for one of my college friends. I invited a woman to be my date for the ceremony; however, we are not currently communicating with each other due to a disagreement. Do you think it is wrong for me to call to inform her that I made new arrangements for the wedding? I don’t mean to be rude, but we are no longer dating, and she doesn’t even know the couple. – Wedding Crusher, Philadelphia
DEAR WEDDING CRUSHER: You absolutely do not need to hold fast to the wedding invitation with this woman. You do need to let her know that you are no longer expecting her to go with you. You may also want to clear the air regarding your disagreement. Even if you have no intention of getting together with her ever again, it is kind and respectful to close the loop. In the best of worlds, you should contact her and start by addressing whatever the conflict was. Follow up with the point that you are no longer expecting her to join you. If she says she wants to attend anyway, you can either accept her – if you would like that – or tell her that’s OK, you have made other plans.
— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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