DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that one of my clients has a nephew who is probably 30 years younger than I am, and he has a big crush on me. I knew he tended to act extra friendly, but it never once occurred to me that he was being anything other than a proper gentleman. Not only is he vastly younger than me, but I also am happily married for as many years as he has been on the planet. How can I continue to treat this lovely young man in a kind way while also making it clear that there’s no secret romance that will ever blossom between us? – Drawing the Line, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: Crushes are real and occur across all kinds of boundaries. They are not bound by convention or any other cultural marker, as they are triggered by a physical reaction inside of your body. That said, crushes do not have to be acted upon or even acknowledged. You are likely better off remaining kind to this young man, treating him with the appropriate respect that you always have and ignoring his attraction to you. If, for some reason, you feel like he is getting out of line, however, you can thank him for his apparent interest in you, but remind him that you are happily married. No more discussion needed.

• • •

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a planner, and my husband is not. Every year we travel during the holiday season because we go to visit both of our families, and they live in two very different parts of the country. I believe that we should be mapping out our plan now, scheduling his vacation days and booking flights. He says it is way too early to think about. The problem is, I cannot force him to ask for time off even though I know that when he has waited in the past, sometimes we didn’t get the time. Someone else had already requested it. How can I get him to consider starting now without making him feel bad in the process? – Prepping for the Holidays, Detroit

DEAR PREPPING FOR THE HOLIDAYS: See if you can inspire your husband into being more proactive. Rather than trying to guilt him, remind him of the great fun you have when you spend time with his family and with your own. After you travel down memory lane and get him engaged, offer to plan everything out so that you are sure not to miss a thing. Recommend specific dates for him to request vacation days. Bestcase scenario, you should have tentatively booked the flights, car rental and whatever else you need so that you can let your husband know that you are ready to go if he gets the dates locked in. Follow up with him in a couple of days to see if he has secured them and if you can help in any way to set everything up.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

Comments are not available on this story.