DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently I downloaded the hookup app Tinder. I was swiping through photos and was alerted I had a match. Much to my surprise, it was my twin brother’s friend! I am mortified and completely unsure how to continue. I never knew this boy felt this way about me, and he is my twin’s friend! Telling my brother would make this whole situation even more awkward, and I cringe at the thought of telling my brother I use this app. Does this situation require a conversation, or could I assume my twin’s friend will sweep this under the rug and not tell my brother? The app has since remained closed on my phone, but I don’t want my brother finding these things out about me. – Tinder Trauma, Winston-Salem, North Carolina

DEAR TINDER TRAUMA: Be careful where you go and what you do! You know this already, and here is an example of why that is an important piece of wisdom. That said, you haven’t done anything other than sign up for this site. Your twin is not an issue in this. His friend is. Rather than pretending that this didn’t happen, you should say something to the friend. Drum up the courage to speak to him either directly or via email – not through Tinder. Tell him that you noticed his interest on Tinder. Admit that it embarrassed you. Add that you didn’t know he liked you. Your tone can set the stage for what’s next. You do not have to engage in any intimate acts with this friend. You have the choice now to neutralize your relationship. If you decide to try dating, do so without the crutch of a titillating website.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I am trying to make a name for myself in the photography industry. A few years ago, I agreed to an unpaid job for an online magazine. I have been doing photo shoots and concert photography for their publications. A positive to this job is having a resume builder, but I feel as though I am being shafted. After years of being a loyal employee and trekking to photo shoots and concerts hours away, no one has proposed the idea of paying me. I agreed to an unpaid job, but after three years, I feel it is time for a change. Is there anything I could say to get a salary, or is it time to part ways? – Photo Shoots and Misses, Philadelphia

DEAR PHOTO SHOOTS AND MISSES: It is time for you to speak up. Ask for a meeting with your direct supervisor to discuss your job performance. Be proactive and let him or her know that you are happy to have been working with the site for the past three years and that you would like to be compensated now. If you have any knowledge of what other photographers for the site have been making, point that out and ask to be compensated the same. If the answer is no, that may be a sign that you should start looking elsewhere for a paid position.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.