DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of the family was rude to me recently. He is my father’s best friend, and he has been out of work for years. He used to work full time, was fired and has not been able to find a job since. His wife supports them both, and they have no children. I have a part-time job and am still in school. There is a 30- year difference in our ages, and I have always respected the opinions of those senior to me. However, my father’s best friend decided that it was his responsibility to tell me that a part-time job will never support me, that I am delusional and that I do not know how to work hard. Although alcohol probably aided his honesty toward me, I felt it was impossible to defend myself without coming off as rude. He does not even have a job!

I responded by saying that I am trying my best to juggle saving money for myself and getting an education, and the conversation seemed to end there. No one defended me while this was happening, probably because they did not want to bring up the fact that the friend does not have any job to begin with. How do I defend myself politely next time without causing a scene? – New Generation, Detroit

DEAR NEW GENERATION: Fueled by inebriation, your father’s friend was likely speaking his truth by expressing the loss and missed opportunities that can come from not having a full-time, well-paying job. Take his comments as fuel that will ensure that you keep up your energy to complete your education and build a life for yourself of your own design that will fund your lifestyle. Next time you get caught in a conversation with him when he is lecturing you, excuse yourself and leave the room. Do not engage someone who is drunk and belligerent. It will never work to your advantage.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been traveling to my parents’ country since I was 1 year old. I have been roughly 20 times, and because of my visits, I am forced to get tested for tuberculosis. These tests are frustrating to me because I have to schedule two visits in three days with my doctor. My schedule is too hectic for this, and I think the best bet is to avoid going to the doctor after every visit for these tests. I’ve never had tuberculosis and would certainly go to the doctor if I were feeling ill. Could I get away with skipping a few tests between visits? – Avoid the MD, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR AVOID THE MD: You need to talk to your doctor about this. If the country you are visiting has a significant enough outbreak of tuberculosis to require this level of observation, you probably need to continue following the protocol. But it is worth it for you to check with your local doctor to verify that you have to follow all of those steps after having visited so many times. Ask all the questions you have, but make sure you follow the directions once you receive them – even if they don’t change.

Also, look into visiting an urgent care facility. Many now have walk-in TB testing available.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.