DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine constantly asks me what I’ve been up to, and copies whatever I say. If I’m in on an email newsletter, she will sign up for it. If I go to spin classes, she will start as well. I hate when people copy me. I have tried telling her less about what I am doing and asking her about her interests, but redirecting the conversation doesn’t particularly work. I would like my copycat friend to start developing her own interests. How can she stop copying me? – Copy Cat, Tucson, Arizona

DEAR COPY CAT: Clearly, you and your life are extremely attractive to your friend – to the point where she has gone overboard in trying to be immersed in your world. Since it seems that you like this friend, why not take the offensive? Invite her to participate in an activity with you. Be inclusive as you experience whatever it is together. When she asks you about other activities or interests, do not answer her questions. This may seem awkward, but if you don’t tell her what you are doing, she cannot copy it. You can also tell her that you feel like she is smothering you because she tries to do everything that you do. Suggest that you need a little space. Be sure to tell her it doesn’t mean that you don’t care about her. It just means that you hope she will choose to develop her individuality more.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in high school, and a lot of my classmates have recently started having invitation-only parties. I haven’t been invited to these parties, and I am starting to feel bad about my social life. My parents won’t let me throw a party, but I want to have something to do on the weekends, too. How can I have a social life if I’m not invited to these exclusive parties? – Party Pooper, Dearborn, Michigan

DEAR PARTY POOPER: Navigating the social scene during high school can seem like walking through land mines. It can be so difficult figuring out where you belong, who are your true friends and even how to have fun. Stay in touch with what is important to you, and do your best not to get caught up in what other people are doing. To that end, if the students who are hosting these parties are not really your friends, do your best to stop thinking about them and their social activities. Instead, think about what you like to do, and figure out ways to do more of that.

Also, find out why your parents will not let you throw a party. Is it because of the size or expense? If there are any circumstances under which they would allow it, say if it were small, try to host something. Sometimes when you extend an invitation, doors are opened by others for you to be a part of their activities.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.