DEAR HARRIETTE: I attended dinner and a silent auction for a charity and got involved in a silly bidding war. The money goes to charity, so I do not mind how much was spent, but at the end of the day, the bidding war was over a fresh box of gourmet cookies. I know my opponent through friends, and we were not sitting at the same table at the dinner. As I kept checking on my bids, I noticed that it was just the two of us bidding. I thought this was a silly, fun encounter, because she was drawing little angry faces next to my name on the sheet. I got the last bid in – don’t worry, it was not some absurd lump of money for cookies! – and she was visibly upset when I walked up to claim them. I did not know she was taking this event so seriously; maybe she is very competitive, but I won the auction fairly. A few others picked up on this exchange between us and asked me what I was going to do when I see her again. An apology for this really isn’t necessary, right? – Fair and Square, Rochester, New York

DEAR FAIR AND SQUARE: The frenzy of a bidding war can drive up sales and also drive a wedge in relationships. While you won fairly, it would be thoughtful for you acknowledge that the two of you both wanted this item and you are sorry you couldn’t both win it.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I have a horrible habit that started years back – I am sick of it. If we disagree about something over text, we will have a silent standoff until one of us caves and texts the other. The longest of these lasted over a week. I’ve been trying to get these to stop by texting first about how we should be adults, and my older sister’s response is always about how she won this time. If there is a disagreement, we should settle it there instead of being so dang stubborn about who can withhold texting the other for the longest period of time. Do you have any suggestions on how to get this immature habit out of our lives? I am not sure what I can do anymore. – Ignoring My Attempts, Salt Lake City

DEAR IGNORING MY ATTEMPTS: Call your sister and tell her that you want to propose a moratorium on texting. Suggest that the two of you speak to each other in person or on the phone, but you stop texting altogether for now. Tell her that you are not interested in the texting wars that have been going on for years, so you are not going to participate anymore. If you have a disagreement, call her and attempt to talk about it. If she texts you, do not respond. Pick up the phone. If she claims she “won,” ignore that. You can also tell her what you want to win is being a loving sister – not a fight over a text.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.