DEAR HARRIETTE: My dream company didn’t hire me, and I am furious. Apparently, the other woman who was up for the job against me is liked more by other people. I don’t think likability should affect the job selection. I was also called a “steamroller,” which I found incredibly offensive. I know I am the right choice for this job, and I want to apply again. I feel like my years of experience led me right up to this job, and the company did not hire me! When should I contact the company again? I do not want to give up and regret it later in life. – Not a Quitter, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR NOT A QUITTER: You need to cool down before doing anything. Naturally, it hurts to be rejected, especially when you fully believe that you are the more deserving candidate for a position. A wise next step is to evaluate the feedback you have received. Do note that likability can be a factor in hiring. A company wants skilled staff who work well together. Getting along with others with ease can be a huge bonus. On the contrary, being the person who is perceived as not listening, but instead steamrolling his or her way through activities is not an endearing quality.

Spend some time considering how you might repackage your presentation of yourself before you apply for another job. This job, by the way, is unavailable. When you look elsewhere, present a refreshed view of yourself as someone who is eager to be a team player.

• • •

DEAR HARRIETTE: In the mix of work and family life, I’ve lost touch with a few good friends. We all live scattered across the country, and it’s not so simple to see each other for lunch or on a whim. I’d like to visit, or invite to visit me, a friend I haven’t seen in a few years. Although I know this is imposing, I’d much rather visit her in Atlanta than have her come to me so I can see Atlanta for the first time. Coultd I plan a trip and let her know I’ll be in town if she has some time? My husband loves the idea, but I feel this could be an intrusion. The entire trip wouldn’t be centered around her, but it’d be nice to see her once or twice. How should I go about seeing a friend without imposing and surprising her? I want this to be as pleasant and fun as possible. – Flying to Friends, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FLYING TO FRIENDS: Your trip does not have to be an imposition, especially if you are not asking to stay with your friend. Reach out to her well in advance of your trip, and tell her you want to see her and her city. Reveal your idea of coming with your husband, staying in a nearby hotel, sightseeing and spending some time with her. Ask her if she will be in town at that time and if she will be able to make some time to see you. Remind her how much you miss her, and tell her you would like to reconnect in person.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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