DEAR HARRIETTE: I love attending dance performances. I have invited my sister to see one with me, and she said that she’d like to see me but that the dance would be boring. I suggested doing something else, but she has decided she’ll “sit through” the dance performance if it means seeing me. Come on! She is not some martyr, and I want to disinvite her from this performance and plan something else. I brought up rescheduling to her, and she said she already committed so she is ready to “endure.” I really don’t think she’s being funny and don’t want her to think she’s doing me any favors by entertaining what I want to see. How do I nix this performance once and for all? – Not Going With a Buzzkill, Shreveport, LA

DEAR NOT GOING WITH A BUZZKILL: You are talking about your own sister! Pick up the phone and call her. Tell her that you don’t want her to feel obligated to go to the performance with you. If she’s not really into it, tell her that the two of you can do something else that you both like at another time. You will give your extra ticket to someone who will actually appreciate it.

When you talk to your sister, be kind and honest. Acknowledge that you didn’t realize dance wasn’t her interest. Promise to find a better fit next time. Give the ticket to someone else.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: After some online snooping, I discovered that my co-worker has been making rude Facebook posts about me and my fellow co-workers. Some of these posts say, “I currently work with the type of people I hate,” “Purposely eating loudly to piss off my co-workers” and “I can’t wait to leave this job because my co-workers are ruining this experience.” She is this way on Facebook, but when we speak to her in person, she is nothing but nice to us. This co-worker tells us about her life freely, and she does not show any signs of ill will toward us. She may not realize that her Facebook is a public profile. Half of us want to mention it to her, while the other half do not want to because she will make her Facebook private and we will not be able to snoop on her. What is the call? The office is amused yet conflicted about what to do. – Cyber Bully, Dallas

DEAR CYBER BULLY: I vote for being upfront. So what if she hides her page later! Tell your co-worker that you have seen her comments about the people at the office on her Facebook page, and they hurt your feelings. Tell her that you and your fellow co-workers like her and thought that she liked you, too. Ask her what upsets her about the team. Tell her you would prefer she tell you to your face rather than speak negatively about you on social media.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.