DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, one of my coworkers was fired, and I’m finding it hard to keep going to work. He was my confidant, someone with whom I could complain about our supervisors, and a huge part of the reason I loved work. Now that he is gone, I don’t know what to do. I can’t follow him around in life, but I need to find something I love about work to keep me going. I lost my work sidekick, and without him, work is incredibly drab. How can I boost my spirits with this work environment shift? – Man Down, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR MAN DOWN: It is time for you to focus on yourself and your goals. What do you want to get out of work? Can you figure out a path to getting a raise or otherwise improving the quality of your work? If you can come up with a plan for improving yourself, it may take the edge off of losing your friend.

On another note, you can decide to do good. During this season of giving, can you suggest a charitable activity that your company may want to adopt? By zooming in on others who are in need and figuring out ways to support them, you will likely come in contact with new team members, or at lease engage them differently. This can lift your spirits as well as the spirits of those around you.

Finally, you can stay in touch with your friend and schedule periodic “dates” to get together.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a great experience at a career convention recently. One of the speakers said that your career path experience shows you where you want to be. This truly resonated with me and helped me in directing my career. For any readers or letter writers, if you feel lost in your career path, I recommend going to a career convention and looking at your past experience to shape your future. I was a wreck with picking what I wanted to do, and now I feel as though I have direction. Just a note of encouragement to lost readers! – New Job Horizons, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR NEW JOB HORIZONS: Thank you for sharing your good experience.

As the year draws to an end, many people question what they are doing in their lives and if they are making the right decisions. You are absolutely right that a career conference can help you to figure out if there’s something you should bone up on, if there is something else out there that you may not have considered and whether there are connections ready to be made to expand your pool of resources.

I strongly recommend networking – when you are in a positive frame of mind. What you do not want to do is to go out into a business or social setting and complain about your shortcomings or doubts. Choose to be positive and to look for opportunity when you attend these functions. Resist moaning about what isn’t working. Say what your hopes are. In this way, you can draw likeminded people to you.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.