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DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother always made sure I was taught proper dining etiquette from a young age. I am very thankful to her, and I feel confident in most dining situations. I have noticed my boyfriend commits one of the faux pas of dining etiquette; he cuts up all of his food before he starts to eat. I haven’t mentioned it to him at the risk of seeming old-fashioned, but I do feel a little bit embarrassed for him when this behavior occurs when we’re out to dinner. I do not expect us millennials to be uptight about etiquette, but nice manners always make a man more appealing. How can I broach this subject without becoming a preacher or, worse, a mother? I just want him to be the best he can be, but these dining habits are just hurting him. – Cut As You Eat, New Haven, Connecticut

DEAR CUT AS YOU EAT: I say just tell him. You can broach the topic by admitting that you grew up in a household where you had to learn every single rule of the table. Admit that it may have been a tad annoying when you were young, but you appreciate today what you learned.

Tell your boyfriend that you don’t want him to be mad at you, but you want to give him a tip you learned early on that seems to make a difference at the dinner table. Unless you are a kid and you need your mommy to cut up your food, you are supposed to cut off one – or maybe two – pieces of meat, veggies, whatever it is, and eat. As your moniker implies, cut as you go. If he poo-poos your suggestion, you can point out that, like it or not, the way that people eat is noticed. Why have a faux pas stand in the way of an otherwise awesome dining experience?

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve recently become a vegan, and I was a vegetarian before that. I am planning on taking a vacation with my friends in January. We will be visiting Italy and Spain. I’ve been thinking about my dietary restrictions regarding this trip. I have read before that some cultures consider dietary restrictions (without medical cause) to be bad manners because of the culture’s ingrained food history and traditions. Visiting countries with notoriously delicious food and not being able to eat most of it is causing me to be on the fence about veganism. I do not think these countries are as understanding of veganism. Should I break my convictions for a trip? I feel as though food is an important part of the culture, and I am not sure if I’d even be able to eat at any restaurants without the use of butter, other dairy and eggs. – Vegan Vacation, Racine, Wisconsin

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DEAR VEGAN VACATION: You must assess why you are vegan. If you are considering breaking your rules for a trip, it may be that you are OK with being flexible about your eating habits. That could be fine, but you must know that adding items to your diet that you haven’t consumed for a long time could be hard to digest.

Do your research. Figure out what you think you can and cannot eat. Bring dry foods to tide you over. While you do not have to push veganism on your trip, you may be able to find “clean” foods that do not use some of the ingredients that you currently avoid.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


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