DEAR HARRIETTE: Coming from a rainy city, I have always wondered how umbrella etiquette functions. I always carry a small personal umbrella with me, but I know that is not the case for everyone in Seattle. If I am leaving a building with someone and I see it has started to rain, I offer to share my umbrella. Sometimes this offer is taken up, but sometimes I am not very close with the person I offer to huddle under a tiny umbrella with, so they graciously decline. That leaves me at a crossroads: We are walking together and I am shielded from the rain, but the person I am walking with is not. Do I close my umbrella? It is not my fault the person is unprepared; however, I still feel bad walking with an umbrella when someone else is getting soaked. Do I not have to worry about other’s preparedness and use my umbrella? Should I insist on sharing? – Rainy Days, Seattle

DEAR RAINY DAYS: It is thoughtful for you to offer to share your umbrella, but there is no need to insist. Each of us must be responsible for ourselves. Yes, it may feel awkward, but your offer of generosity is what is thoughtful. As you know, sometimes putting two heads under an umbrella leaves both people wet. So don’t push. Remain gracious.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: As I was going to an event with my sister, my boyfriend sent me a text saying he wishes I “tried” for him like I do for my sister. I explained that when I am with my older sister, who is extremely fashionable and skilled at makeup, she turns me into her project for the night. I am not as involved with shopping for fashionable clothing, and my feelings were hurt when he said I don’t try to look nice for him. He never asked about what sort of effort I put into looking nice for him and just assumed I do not care about my appearance with him. Truth be told, I could try more when it comes to purchasing new clothing. I have two online orders of clothing on the way already; I do want him to feel proud to be seen with me. However, as far as hair and makeup go, I do not feel like he understands how much skill goes into makeup application and that getting ready for a woman is not as easy as he assumes. I was hurt because he decided I don’t try instead of broaching the topic with me in person. How can I explain to him that although I do want him to be proud of being seen with me, he shouldn’t make such bold and hurtful comments toward me? He doesn’t understand why I’m upset. – Really Trying, Denver

DEAR REALLY TRYING: Next time you are with your boyfriend, just be honest. Tell him that if you had your sister as a personal stylist, you would always look glamorous. But you don’t. Acknowledge that you are making an effort to up your style presence, but it is not your forte – and it definitely is not personal.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.