DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister suffers from some addiction issues and lives in the same county as me. There will occasionally be a headline in local newspapers about her and something that happened at a gas station, public park or school. This is incredibly embarrassing, but what is worse is being asked about her antics. Believe me, I have tried almost everything to have her get help or stay sober. She does not have much contact with my family, but whenever we see her, we pretend we haven’t seen the headlines or heard the gossip. I need to find a way to draw the line about people asking me about my sister. I feel like all anyone wants is gossip. They don’t care about how I am doing. What can I do to make people stop talking about my sister to me? They don’t know what I go through, and I don’t want to hear it. – Family Shame, Denver

DEAR FAMILY SHAME: You can stop answering their questions. You can ask them to pray for your family and then change the subject. If they persist, ask them to respect your privacy.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: My grandpa has diabetes from his eating habits. He is supposed to be on a strict, regimented diet and my aunt hovers over him to make sure he sticks to it. Over the holiday season, I would see him head off, and if I followed him a little bit, I would see him practically inhale a whole slice of cake. I do not want to have to “tell” on my grandfather, but his behavior is seriously detrimental to his health. He is at the point of amputations because of his diet, and he doesn’t seem to understand. I am sure this is not a onceyearly occurrence and that he frequently goes off eat sugary, unhealthy foods behind my aunt’s back. Should I tell her what he is doing? – He Is an Adult, Baltimore

DEAR HE IS AN ADULT: You can tell her if you feel compelled, but I’m sure your aunt already knows about your grandpa’s behavior. One of the biggest challenges for many diabetics is controlling their sugar intake, even after they know that continuing those eating habits will likely cause amputations, blindness and death. What your aunt needs to do is figure out how to take care of herself through this difficult period. It would be wise for her to speak to your grandpa’s doctors to learn of their expectations for his health. She should also find out if his insurance will cover a nursing home or elder care facility in case she can no longer care for him. Armed with all of the information that she can gather, she should talk to her father about the options for the future. While she is willing and able to care for him now, she can let him know where she might have to draw the line if she finds herself unable to be his caregiver. Knowing that your aunt is considering what to do when his condition worsens may wake him up.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.