DEAR HARRIETTE: I tend to use pretty profane language in my daily life. I never curse in professional or family settings, but when I am with my friends, I let loose. On a night out, a woman overheard me say a certain four-letter word, and she interrupted my private conversation and told me that I am “too beautiful to say that word.” Frankly, this rubbed me the wrong way. Would a man have been corrected like this? Was I supposed to take her reprimand as a compliment? I just acknowledged her and said thank you, but her comment got me thinking. I was having a private conversation, but it appears my words offended her. Should I have been censoring myself even though it was a night out at a nice bar? – Party Potty Mouth, Boston

DEAR PARTY POTTY MOUTH: You have hit on a couple of different issues here. In general, though cursing in public has become commonplace, it can still be offensive to those around you. Now, you were in a bar, where cursing is part of the ongoing dialogue. But I, for one, would be happy for people to curse less regardless of gender.

That said, this woman was out of line and sexist. If you weren’t “beautiful” or if you were a man, would she have reprimanded you? What she thought is that you – of all people, implying someone who should be more refined – would hear her and be struck by her comment and possibly stop cursing.

The whole thing is messy and wrong. While I do not subscribe to her way of thinking, I do believe less is more when it comes to four- and five-letter words.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I got ourselves in trouble with a few mothers recently. We were caught gossiping about a different mother’s children. I feel so sad and petty that I engaged in this gossip – especially about teenagers! My sister and I are fortunate enough to live in the same town and have our kids go to the same school. We got caught up speaking at a get-together in a private room and began gossiping about our children and their friends. When we looked up, we saw two other mothers looking at us! I was mortified. My sister and I played it off, but I know there is judgment going around. What can I say to redeem myself to these women? I am honestly so ashamed of myself that I let myself gossip about teenagers as a grown woman. – Gossip Mom, Denver

DEAR GOSSIP MOM: This is where a sincere apology comes in. You should seek out the mothers who heard you and admit to your bad behavior. You may want to acknowledge that you now see how quickly kids can be fueled by gossip, since you got caught up in it, and, as an adult, you should know better. Apologize for what you said. Be sure to tell your children what happened, too. There is a very good chance they will find out. Let them hear it from you first.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.