DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m seven months pregnant. I’m nervous because from here on out, I’m responsible for someone other than myself. As this pregnancy progresses, my boyfriend and I seem to do the opposite. He’s always ready to pick a fight and catches an attitude over everything. I thought I was the pregnant one …

Last night, I went through his phone. I know the saying, “Look for something hard enough, and you’ll find it.” Well, I did. I found texts between him and another woman. It looks as though he starts these arguments so he can leave to “cool off,” so while I think he’s at his friend’s house, he’s really at this girl’s house. It hurt to know that’s how he acts just so he can be with her.

I’m trying to stop stressing over it because I don’t want to lose my baby. I’m so mad, hurt and saddened at the fact that instead of being with his pregnant girlfriend, he wants to be with the next girl. I’m still pretty; I haven’t let pregnancy stop me – I still cook, clean and work (from home now, but still). I don’t see why he’s doing this unless he’s always been doing this, and I’m just now finding out. Do I leave him? I don’t want to have to raise my child in two different households. But I also don’t want to be walked all over or let him continue to have his cake and eat it, too. – At a Crossroads, Tampa, Florida

DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: Confront your boyfriend about this relationship. Tell him how hurt and concerned you are. Ask him if he plans on staying with you and your growing family. Tell him you want to be a family, but you need 100 percent of him. Ask him to end this affair and refocus on you. His actions will let you know what to do.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends has not outgrown college. She constantly drinks and does drugs. I am going to a concert with her on a Wednesday night, and I have work the next day. I know she will want to smoke, drink and do drugs. This lifestyle isn’t really for me anymore, but I love my friend too much to drop her. I want to see her, but I need to figure out how to stand up for myself when she calls me “old and boring” for not wanting to do drugs on a Wednesday. I have been known to be a pushover, and I want to know how to assert myself as someone who can have fun – and stay sober on a weekday. – Party Animal, Syracuse, New York

DEAR PARTY ANIMAL: It’s time to have a grown-up talk with your friend. Tell her you love her, but that college is over and you have figured out that you can’t live recklessly and perform on the job. Tell her she can call you whatever names she wants, but it is time to be responsible. Recommend that she take your lead. If she doesn’t, don’t go out with her anymore. Choose the life you want to live, and then live it. Then you won’t be a pushover at all.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.