DEAR HARRIETTE: I am pretty embarrassed by my son’s behavior. He has decided he wants to move to Australia because the job hunt has not been going well for him here in the United States. The problem is, he’s a compulsive spender and has no money saved up. So what does he do? He starts a fundraiser online! He’s also been asking my wife and me for constant contributions.

My son wants to move to Australia on his parents’ dime and has no shame trying to collect money from strangers through social media. I just cannot believe how brazen he has gotten. Should my wife and I just pay for a ticket to get him to stop embarrassing the family? We’re not necessarily made of money, either. – Deadbeat Son, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR DEADBEAT SON: Think this one all the way through. Chances are great that your son will be contacting you from Australia asking you to wire him money. Moving to another country is no guarantee of employment or of some sudden newfound sense of responsibility.

It may be time to step back and tell your son that he has to fend for himself. Don’t judge him. Let go of the feelings of embarrassment. Replace them with a reality check. It is time for your son to grow up and handle his business. Stop supporting him financially. Remind him that you love him, but it’s time for him to step up.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my relatives is in the hospital and has been for over a month. My entire family is close, so we tried to always have someone in the hospital to keep my aunt occupied and entertained. At first, it was pretty easy to get people to come in, but then other responsibilities have left my aunt mostly alone.

As terrible as I feel about this, my aunt has been an absolute nightmare. She will email the entire family, saying we don’t care about her if no one comes to visit. It is difficult to carve hours out of each day to try to be there for her, but I wish she were more understanding. I don’t know what I could say to her that wouldn’t upset her even more. I know she’s lonely at the hospital and would like company. However, berating the family will not necessarily get everyone excited to pay her a visit. – Ill-Worded, Arlington, Virginia

DEAR ILL-WORDED: Your aunt is scared and sick. She longs for support and has a lot of time on her hands. You need to manage her expectations and rally the family. Get all of your family members on the phone, and ask them to create a schedule outlining when individuals can visit your aunt. Even if it’s not every day, figure out when people can be there, and then let your aunt know.

Go over the schedule with your aunt and explain to her that what you have crafted is the best that everyone can do. Remind her that you all love her and want her to get well. Ask her to stop making the negative calls. Explain that this is hard for everyone, but if you all try to be kind to one another, it will be easier for her to get the attention she needs.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.