DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a mother of two children, a 7-year-old girl and a 2-year-old boy. I have been worrying about my son’s development in comparison to his older sister. When she was 2 years old, she was running about and speaking in full sentences. My son is still clumsy, and I just feel like he hasn’t been developing like his sister did.

I have seen doctors, and they say children develop at different rates. However, both of these children have had the same environment to grow up in! I am worried that my son is falling behind developmentally. My husband isn’t home enough to see the difference between how our kids are developing, but he admits it is a bit harder to get my son to listen and connect in a conversation. I have been trying to set up play dates with other boys his age to see if he is truly behind. Am I going too far? I just want to make sure my son is growing up and developing correctly. – Mama Bear, Dallas

DEAR MAMA BEAR: It is true that children develop differently, in virtually every way. There are also markers for development. You can check with your son’s pediatrician to ensure that he is meeting those developmental markers. You can also consult a behavioral specialist to get a second opinion. Meanwhile, it’s a great idea to continue to match him up with play dates, not just to observe him. You need to find comfort zones for him so that he can flourish. If you identify children who naturally fit his rhythm, you may find that he matures differently.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I caught my preteen daughter on social media about a month ago. She is 11 years old, and I don’t want her publicly posting photographs or messages for the world to see. You never know who is out there. I want her to stop, but she’s sneaking around my rules and still posting from her phone and laptop. It’s like I can’t control her.

I don’t want to back down from my social media ban, but she’s not listening to me at all. Is it time to give up? If she’s acting like this now, I don’t know how I’ll be able to keep her under control as a teenager. – Too Many Hormones, Syracuse, New York

DEAR TOO MANY HORMONES: Rather than shut her off from social media completely – you may not be able to control that, anyway – learn as much as you can about parental controls and talk to her about boundaries. She can use many social media platforms engaging private settings that will allow only people she has approved to view her posts. You can make it a requirement that you be able see her posts whenever you want.

If she refuses, you can take her phone away for a period of time. Just know that she can probably access her accounts via other friends’ smartphones or computers. It is essential for the two of you to develop a way to communicate with each other so that you can both hear what the other is saying. Be frank with your daughter about the types of people and messages that should be red flags. Stay alert.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.