DEAR HARRIETTE: I love my family dearly. Lately, though, I’m hardly able to spend time with them. I started a new job about 11 months ago, and so far it’s going well! I feel like I’m really getting my foot in the door when it comes to my career field. I love my job because I get to do what I’m really passionate about. However, it also requires me to work long hours away from home.

It saddens me that my family feels like I’m not there to spend as much time with them. I can see that it hurts them when I have to cancel all the time. How do I balance a demanding job and family time? I don’t want to be isolated from my family, but I have other things to do that take up my time. How do I balance the two?

I want my family to know I’m still there for them. I also want my employers to know that I’m dedicated to the company. Being a passionate person, I give 100 percent to everything that I do. It’s not easy, but I like that it challenges me to be motivated, regardless of anything else that goes on. – In Need of Balance, Phoenix

DEAR IN NEED OF BALANCE: Start keeping a calendar or schedule where you write down every responsibility and appointment that you have. This includes personal care like eating regularly and exercising, completing the range of work tasks that are on your plate, and connecting with family. Itemize your list in manageable parts so that you can be passionate about everything and, over time, find balance by making time for everything. Trust that it takes time to figure it out. In the meantime, ask your family to have patience because building a career takes time.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: Dating in 2016 is hard. Everyone is caught up with being perfect. You have celebrities who run to plastic surgeons every chance they get. It’s not enough to just be who you are, as you are. When you don’t measure up to society’s standards, then what?

I don’t have flawless skin because I gave birth to a son a year ago. I have no apology for the stretch marks that deed gave me. Nor would I ever apologize for them. Guys want this woman who has it all together when in reality, they don’t even have that themselves. How could a person want their partner to have certain traits when they don’t even have those very traits? It’s hypocritical. How do I find a man who can understand this?

I’m a good mom, and I deserve to be accepted as I am. I deserve for my son to be accepted as he is. How do I find a man who’s willing to do that? I want a man who can really understand this, but all I seem to attract are those who don’t. All around me, I see men who don’t and won’t. Is a guy like this really just a dream? Is finding a man like this as impossible as the image society tries to push down our throats? – Wanting and Wondering, Little Rock, Arkansas

DEAR WANTING AND WONDERING: Slow down. Make a list of the traits that you appreciate most in a partner, and don’t compromise anymore. You have a child to teach. Wait until you meet someone who cares about you for who you are and who appreciates your son. Look past stereotypes and celebrity. A real man is out there for you.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.