DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend keeps pestering me to go to therapy. She claims that a lot of problems in our relationship stem from my past. I think she is just trying to defer our issues and blame them on me. I genuinely don’t think I need therapy and am a happy person. Like all people, I have my down days, but I always strive to do things that make me happy.

My family history is more chaotic than hers, so I want to clearly explain to her that how I grew up – something I cannot go back in time to change – influences our relationship only because of her. For example, she isn’t comfortable staying overnight places because she wants to go home, and she says I’m OK with sleeping wherever because my parents are divorced and I shuttled back and forth between homes.

I don’t think I need therapy because of my upbringing. How can I get her to see this? – It’s Not Me, It’s You, Philadelphia

DEAR IT’S NOT ME, IT’S YOU: If you really care for your girlfriend and want to strengthen your bond, suggest that the two of you go to therapy together. You don’t think you need it. She probably doesn’t think she needs it. But for your relationship, it could be a great way to learn how to communicate better – especially during challenging times. It can also be a safe space for you to address idiosyncrasies in each of your behaviors that may no longer be necessary for you to hold on to. I know this may seem opposite to your desire, but it may prove incredibly helpful.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I still live at home with my parents. I am responsible for cleaning the home, grocery shopping and driving my parents to and from work. I don’t have to pay rent, so the trade-off is all right with me. However, whenever I go grocery shopping, my dad wants me to buy meat. This makes me uneasy because I don’t support the commercial animal industry, and I don’t want to buy that stuff. I don’t push my beliefs on other people, and my parents don’t know that I have a problem buying pounds and pounds of meat. I’m debating if it’s even worth me bringing up how hypocritical this makes me feel because of my parents’ reaction. They’d probably make fun of me. Should I stand up for myself or keep shut because it’s not my home? – Veggie Burger, Salt Lake Cit y

DEAR VEGGIE BURGERS: It’s fine for you to tell your parents that you have become vegetarian. You can share with them your reasons and how you evolved to this position. It would not be appropriate, however, for you to make them feel uncomfortable about their food choices.

I know many families who have one parent or family member who eats differently than the rest. What’s important in those situations is to honor everyone’s palate – to the best of your ability. Given that you are living in your parents’ home, you should graciously follow their rules, including buying what they like to eat. You simply don’t have to eat it.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.