DEAR HARRIETTE: I run in the same social circle as my ex. Things between us ended dramatically, but we both got over it and are friends now. Although we broke up a few years ago and dated other people, we are both single at the same time.

Recently, I noticed my ex becoming a little too friendly with me when we are hanging out in a group. He’ll let his arm slip lower than it should as we hug goodbye, or he’ll make some joke relating to the past. I’m not sure if he is just messing with me or implying he wants what we had again.

I don’t really have an interest in starting up our whole love affair again. How do I shut down his flirtation in a way that won’t make other people uncomfortable? I just want us to be friends without any strange tension. – Just Friends, Weehawken, New Jersey

DEAR JUST FRIENDS: Ask to have a private conversation with your ex. You can do this over the phone or in person – but preferably not when you are in the company of your friends. Tell him that it’s nice to see him again, but that you want to clear the air. Tell him that his overtures are sending mixed messages that you do not like. Tell him that you are happy to be his friend, but nothing more. Ask him not to touch you suggestively anymore. Even if he plays dumb about it, just reinforce your request.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been stress eating a lot lately. So many responsibilities are hitting me left and right that I can’t help but eat junk food to get away from it all. I feel terrible because I was doing really well with exercising and monitoring what I eat.

Ever since I started eating ice cream and candy again, I’ve been on a roll. Ice cream and candy quickly turned into cake, cookies and milkshakes. The Smart Pop on my kitchen counter was quickly replaced with barbecue potato chips, and the amount of Haagen- Dazs in my fridge is embarrassing.

How do I get myself to revert back to how I was before? It’s become harder and harder to psych myself into eating a salad when I know I have ice cream in the fridge. I don’t want to become so overweight that I’m back to square one. I know I should just give up the junk food, but when I get home from a long day, a salad just doesn’t excite me. – Stress Vs. Healthiness, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR STRESS VS. HEALTHINESS: Sugar can be addictive for some people. Right now, you are engaging it in that kind of out-of-control way. Know that you can change. Start by throwing out ALL sweets in your home. If they aren’t there, you cannot eat them during your vulnerable moments. If you need help making that choice, invite a friend to help you. Build a support group. Go back to the gym with a buddy. When you are feeling particularly stressed, work out instead of eating.

Make a decision that you want to be healthy, and work hard to choose water over soda, fruit or protein over ice cream and chips. Consider joining Overeaters Anonymous (oa.org) or Weight Watchers to help you meet your goals.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.