DEAR HARRIETTE: I am at my wits’ end with my mother-in-law. My husband and I have been married for two years now, and she’s still being disrespectful toward me.

My mother-in-law threw my husband a dinner party to celebrate that he was coming back into town after being away on business. I thought it was a sweet gesture; being his wife, I decided that although his mom and I aren’t the best of friends, I’d still come to support my husband. We knocked on the front door to come in, and she was completely ecstatic to see him. She was smiling and hugging him, crying over how long he was away, etc. I stepped into the house after him, and her entire mood changed. She rolled her eyes and asked him why he was still with me, as if I was just a random fling that he should’ve let go months ago. Even though I was offended, I let it slide and continued to greet friends and family. After dinner, she told everyone to gather around to cut the cake. We cut the cake, and I saw that it’s pineapple. His mother knows that I’m allergic to pineapple, but that was the flavor she chose for his welcome home cake? I feel like this woman has it out for me for no reason. Pineapple cake isn’t even my husband’s favorite flavor!

Do I confront his mom and ask her why she seems to hate me? I don’t want to cause any drama – especially when my husband was finally able to return home. – Not Welcomed, Marietta, Georgia

DEAR NOT WELCOMED: Talk to your husband. Point out how unhealthy your relationship is with his mother. Ask him to help you build a respectful bond with her. Together, face her. That’s your main chance of getting her to make an effort. She has to see that her son chooses you.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife is pregnant with our second child. We have agreed that we’d have only two kids, so this is her last pregnancy. She’s been insisting on getting pregnancy pillows, new pregnancy clothing and in-womb cognitive development tools for this pregnancy. I don’t want her to be uncomfortable during pregnancy, but I think this is spending a lot of cash on things we will never use again. I’d rather just save the money that would be spent on pregnancy jeans and use it on the baby.

We don’t have an airtight budget, but I feel like my wife could slow down with buying a million pregnancy things that will be useless in a few months. Should I remind her that there won’t be another pregnancy to use this stuff on? – Last Bun in the Oven, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR LAST BUN IN THE OVEN: Tread lightly. Pregnant women tend to be highly emotional. Gently introduce the idea that your wife consider resisting the temptation to buy all of the pregnancy items that she wants. Rather than pointing out that she won’t have another child, talk to her about the things the baby may need. She does need some clothes that are specific to pregnancy. But the needs for the newborn will be ongoing. She will probably welcome that idea.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.