
After the young couple left, the man said, “My own mother gave me this beautiful body. Now why would I want to ruin it with tattoos?” This man was in his mid-’80s, mind you, and his ample body would not have evoked the word “beautiful” from casual observers. But he had made his comment with a bemused smile, noting that the young girl was very sweet. His tone was philosophical, not critical.
The next day we stopped at the same place, and Tina said, “I miss that couple; they really stay in the game.”
As is her won’t, Tina had just given me an idea for another column, so here goes: staying in the game. I’ll bet every older person reading this column wonders whether he or she is still in the game — or what game is even being played, for that matter. It’s easy to feel useless or irrelevant or ignored when younger people now do the things we used to do. What if we disappeared; would anyone care? Would they even notice?
I hope they’d notice and care more than we think they would. What really matters is that we stay in the game as much as possible. We’ll be happier, as a result, and so will the people around us.
Here are some thoughts on how to stay in the game. Maybe they work; maybe not. At least I’m trying. Or, as Tina would say, “very trying.”
Surround yourself with positive older people. Every person faces physical challenges and health woes in their later years. If you major in them at the expense of all else, you’ll be the loser.
Surround yourself with bright young people. They’re the hope for the future; they have something to teach us. And we just might have something to teach them. And, important, if we maintain a positive outlook, younger people will be more willing to hang around.
Don’t harp on “the good old days.” As someone once said, “The good old days they are no more and what’s more they never were.”
Exercise if you still can. Read if you still can. Take a course. Teach a course. Stretch in all the ways.
Stop and look around. At the birds and the trees and the skies. At little kids running and playing and asking “Why?” For them, most of life is a game to be figured out. At the people you really care about.
Create. I’m convinced that doing something creative keeps one’s spirit alive. Whatever it might be. What about writing a memoir for your children and grandchildren. Or at least putting down snippets of your life that might be of interest to future generations. My mother balked when I asked her to do so, even though she was a fine writer. So I suggested she take specific topics and write about them: e.g. school, boys, jobs, successes, disappointments, etc. That approach worked, and I treasure what she wrote.
Do something new and unexpected. Hmm …wonder what I should try next. How about getting a tattoo or two? Or a nose ring? Then again, maybe not.
———
David Treadwell, a Brunswick writer, welcomes commentary or suggestions for future “Just a Little Old” columns at [email protected].
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