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DEAR HARRIETTE: I love going off the grid. I feel like we are so constantly accessible that it makes me feel free when I don’t have a phone on me. I don’t do this for days at a time, just 12-hour blocks. It makes me feel completely refreshed. My friends and family get surprisingly mad about texts and calls going unanswered. I am never in danger, and I have the right to my privacy. When I tell them that I just want to be alone, they claim I am being selfish and should at least give them the courtesy of responding. Am I being rude by taking time to myself? – All Alone, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR ALL ALONE: I love that you are not bound by technology. What you must do is train your loved ones to expect you to be disconnected for blocks of time. Promise that you will contact them if you are ever in trouble. Recommend that they try your version of being unplugged.

Interestingly, people who are always connecting to others via phone, text and various forms of social media often feel isolated and lonely. It seems like a contradiction, but this may be because the depth of connection is superficial at best. If you are currently cultivating meaningful relationships with others, you may want to point that out to your loved ones. Don’t forget to note the relationship with yourself that you get to grow because you are blocking out a lot of noise.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: After a summer of working, I am back at my university for another year of learning. I signed myself up for six classes, plus I work part time. This is in addition to clubs and organizations. Last year, my routine was quickly established, and I would already have all of my ducks in a row, so to speak. This year has me overwhelmed and unable to fall into a steady routine. I don’t think too much has changed since last year, and I am just trying to get my motivation and routine back in order. How can I take the first proactive step? – Waves of Work, Atlanta

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DEAR WAVES OF WORK: You sound efficient and well-organized, both excellent traits. You must also leave space for fluidity and change. Every year at university can become exponentially more complicated and challenging. That is part of the nature of higher learning. You cannot predict how everything is going to work out, nor how smoothly you will transition into the semester.

Your first proactive step may just be to accept that this semester is different from the last. Give yourself permission to pay close attention to what classes need more time and focus. Creating a schedule based on what you learn will help you to complete your work effectively.

While it sounds like you are busy at school, it would be great if you could carve out time on a daily basis that is unplanned. When can you do whatever you want – or nothing – in the day? Amid classes, clubs, organizations and work, you seem pretty overloaded. Establishing a healthy rhythm should include some time for you, even if it is only a few minutes each day.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


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