DEAR HARRIETTE: I am wondering about the etiquette on sending wedding invitations internationally. For example, I have family in Europe who will not be able to attend my daughter’s wedding. Should I still be sending them an invitation even though we have spoken and they won’t be attending? — Wedding Post, Baltimore

DEAR WEDDING POST: If you plan on sending wedding announcements with a picture of the couple from the wedding, you can wait to send that to your relatives. That is a nice memento that guests, friends and relatives often appreciate.

Should that not be your plan, feel free to send an invitation to your European family members. Attach a handwritten note that tells them that you are sending the invitation to them as a memento so that they are included in the circle of love, even though they cannot join you on this auspicious day.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always tried to create a healthy kitchen for my two young children. My son, who is bordering the line between toddler and child, will eat only oatmeal for breakfast now. I like to ask my kids what they want to eat instead of forcing something onto them, but I never thought my son would refuse to eat breakfast unless he was being served oatmeal with peanut butter and a banana. I found out he acts this way after he had an outburst at his grandparent’s house. How can I speak to him rationally? — Too Many Oats, Cincinnati

DEAR TOO MANY OATS: Check in with your children’s pediatrician to learn what he or she recommends your toddler should eat. Know that oats, especially if cooked from scratch (not instant oats that often have added sugar and preservatives) are great to start the day. Many people eat oatmeal in the morning to help them to be regular. The fiber in the oats is excellent for the digestive system. Now, you can argue that eating the same thing daily may not be ideal. Variety can be helpful to a diet. Before requiring a dietary change in the morning, though, see what the doctor has to say.

I will add that it may seem nice to give your children leeway when it comes to what they eat, but it is also important to teach them about eating in a healthy manner and eating what is served to them. Children need to be introduced to a range of foods so that they learn a variety of flavors and types of food.

Finally, talk to the grandparents. Find out exactly what happened, and get on the same page with them about how you feed your children and what your expectations are of how you want them to be fed when they are in the grandparents’ care. The team has to be on the same page in order for your children to stay clear and feel supported as they grow and learn.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.