When my dad, a world class bridge player, was in his 90s, he loved partnering with younger players. He’d bask in their adoration, while passing along a few tips (and jokes). I visited him in the hospital a few days before he died, and an attractive woman in her forties also happened to be there. “Here’s a story about your dad,” she said. “A few years ago, I asked him if he’d give me the thrill of my life and play bridge with me. He said, ‘I’m too old to give you the thrill of your life, but I’ll play bridge with you.’” 

When my mother was living in a retirement home in her 80s, she spent many enjoyable hours teaching English to a fellow resident, a Chinese woman. She had spent her entire life helping other people, often the forgotten and ignored, and she did so until she died. 

I was reminded of my parents when I read “Women Rowing North,” by Mary Pipher, whose first book was “Reviving Ophelia.” Some people might claim that it is a “woman’s book,” but Pipher provided helpful tips about aging gracefully for everyone. 

Here, then, are some thoughts for my fellow geezers — and anyone else confronting the challenges of aging. 

Step out of your “men-don’t-do-that” box. Tim Ryan, a U.S. Representative from Ohio, is a guy’s guy. He grew up in blue-collar Youngstown and starred as quarterback on the high school football team. Re-elected for Congress five times, Ryan eases his stress by doing hot yoga, inspired by a yoga teacher who lost two legs in the military. 

Hang around young people. Being with grandchildren is great, of course, for those of us lucky enough to have them, but we can also gain sustenance from contact with young people outside the family. Tina and I have benefited enormously from our ties with many Bowdoin students over the years, and they seem to appreciate our support and encouragement — and a place to put their stuff during the summer. 

Be optimistic. Four years ago, I wrote about two 103-year-old men who attributed their long lives to a positive attitude. One of them has since died, 

but the other one is still going strong at age 107. Nothing irks me more than self-entitled old people snarling about slow service at a restaurant or grumbling about the weather in Maine. (Hey people, it’s Maine!) 

Don’t complain about your health all the time. Organ recitals get old. 

Try something new. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed taking piano lessons from a talented Bowdoin pianist for the last eighteen months. He offers just enough encouragement while maintaining high standards. (After I played one piece, he said, “Well, you knew all the notes.”) 

Keep your sense of humor. Who wants to be around a grouch? 

Don’t always stay on the sidelines. It’s tempting — and comforting — to go sit in a corner and let the next generation take over. But sometimes we should and must speak out. Our voices still matter, if we have the courage to use them. 

Be patient. Here’s where I often fall down, as my wife Tina will attest. 

Read. I can’t imagine a world without books, and I thoroughly enjoy belonging to two co-ed book groups. I also can’t imagine a world without crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, Scrabble, Sudoku and Ken Ken. The phrase “Use ir or lose it” applies to the mind as well as the body. 

My dear mother (“Moo”) used to say, “Old age ain’t for sissies.” She was right. But it’s better than the alternative. And we might as well have some fun along way. 

David Treadwell, a Brunswick writer, welcomes commentary and suggestions for future “Just a Little Old” columns. [email protected]