Before going through security at the Cyril E. King Airport in St. Thomas, we had inadvertently put a bottle of bourbon, a gift for a friend, in my backpack. “No liquids!” barked one of the security people, while removing the bottle. “The hell with it,” I said to Tina, “let’s just leave it.” Tina didn’t want to leave the bottle, and kindly said to another security person that the bourbon was a gift for a friend.
“Come with me,” said the lady, who proceeded to take Tina back outside security area and helped her secure and prepare the right box for the bourbon. I went on to the gate. “Do you know why I was nice to you?” the security lady asked Tina. “Because you were kind, although your husband wasn’t.” Ouch!
That was but one example of Tina being Tina, a person who offers kindness when most normal folks are too impatient or too oblivious to do so.
Here’s another: We were at the Crystal Spring Market and encountered a young mother who had a child with significant special needs. Tina got right down on her knees and began engaging with the child, smiling at him, looking at him. The mother later told me how much she appreciated Tina’s kindness toward her son, as most people just pretend he’s not there. Tina, in fact, loves babies and toddlers, often referring to them as “my people.” She had a fine professional career as a speech pathologist working with the birth-to-three age group.
Tina is often kind to the “little people,” like hotel maids and restaurant workers and bank tellers and cashiers. She always smiles at them, always acknowledges them, always thanks them for what they do. She treats them as real and important individuals, not just mindless cogs in the machinery. They, in turn, invariably respond with real appreciation.
Whenever we are at a restaurant and Tina sees a young family with small children or babies, she goes over to the table and praises the parents for their children’s behavior. The parents always smile and say something like, “Well, thank you, but they’re not always this good.” What parent doesn’t
enjoy praise for their children, but how rarely do most people offer it?
Tina and I are very proud of our four sons for their families and for all they’ve accomplished in life. But, most of all, they are kind people, and that’s our biggest source of pride.
We live in a time and a place when being kind to one another has never been more important. Sadly, the man who occupies the Oval Office sets an example that is the polar opposite of kindness, always finding enemies to stomp on or blame or fight or sue. We Americans — indeed all human beings — are better than that or at least we should try to be.
Tina has nudged me slowly along toward the path of kindness, saying things like, “You get more bees with honey than with vinegar.” That’s a good saying to remember when on the phone, say, with an internet service provider or a credit card company or when you’re facing any other potentially explosive situation with a person or organization. Being terse and impatient doesn’t get one very far towards a fair settlement of differences — or whatever.
The Coronavirus scare gives us yet one more reason to remember to be kind. After all, like it not, we’re all in this together. Let’s try to be kinder towards one another and see what happens.
David Treadwell, a Brunswick writer, welcomes commentary and suggestions for future “Just a Little Old” columns. dtreadw575@aol.com.
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