They say surviving an attack of COVID-19, or even an asymptomatic or sub-clinical case, may leave aftereffects, and I would like to add here that surviving lockdown and home sheltering, even without contracting COVID-19 at all, can leave aftereffects as well.
First, to paraphrase a Russian expression: “There’s no place you can go to get away from food under lockdown.”
Just having to pass the refrigerator, the pantry and the kitchen, hour after hour, day after day, adds gravitas to your person. Hearing their inaudible voices whispering, “You’re hungry, aren’t you?” and “We’ve got some yummy stuff in here that you could have just a little bit of, and no one would ever notice.” that I find irresistible.
Passing the refrigerator, the pantry and the kitchen, hour after hour, day after day, adds gravitas to your person. Dan King photo
Second, under lockdown, I turn to my computer for email, Facebook, and Twitter to keep up with the kids, grandchildren and great grandchildren. And here’s the thing. Last time my hair stylist held up a mirror so I could appreciate her artistry, I noticed I’m tilting to the left, or to use the nautical term “listing to port.”
I believe I’ve discovered a new medical syndrome, something like “tennis elbow.” When I sit at the computer, I use my right hand for the mouse, and since it doesn’t work if you lean on it, I lean on my left elbow, which drives my left humerus up into the shoulder joint, and now the whole joint complains any time I try to use it now for anything else. I call it “computer shoulder.”
Third, while trying to avoid all of the political garbage on the television news programs, with dueling politicos, fake news, lies, disinformation and outright personal insults, I find I’ve overdosed on crime dramas and am now fully capable of asking any coroner I might come across bending over a corpse, “Tell me, doctor, what’s the C.O.D., and since I see no blood or GSR, is there petechial hemorrhaging or is it blunt force trauma?”
To sum up: I’m older, heavier, television smarter, and my left shoulder hurts.
Orrin Frink is a Kennebunkport resident. He can be reached at ofrink@gmail.com.
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