[ital]Associated Press: Bahrain – Vice Admiral Walsh, U.S. Navy commander in the Mideast, announced that the carrier USS Stennis, together with a strike group carrying 6,500 Marines plus mine sweepers and other support craft, would join the Carrier USS Dwight Eisenhower and its task force in the Gulf of Aden through which passes two-fifths of the world’s oil supply. President Bush ordered the move as a “show of strength” in the Persian Gulf and Walsh explained that the 20,000 sailors and Marines were intended to prevent any “misunderstandings” that might arise with Iranian gunboats in the area.

Far East Press – The Chinese premier G. Woo Pui today dispatched two Chinese Super-Junks with a task force of lobster cutters to Casco Bay “to prevent any misunderstandings” that might occur with local lobster boats. Two-fifths of the worlds lobster supply passes through Lukse Sound at the narrow entrance of this crowded bay. He stated that his goal is stability and self rule in the entire area adjoining the Gulf of Maine.

G. Woo, who rose to power a few years ago through a bloodless coup in the central judicial committee, comes from a prominent Western clan long known for involvement in the world lobster market. China, which consumes the majority of the world’s lobsters, is the leading customer of lobster Cantonese – the SUV of lobster dishes.

With no supporting evidence, the SIA (Sino Intelligence Agency), alleged that Portland was building secret lobster interceptors and that draggers were selling netted lobsters. Beyond that, Woo cited the political instability posed by rebellious provinces such as Long and Chebeague islands, which have broken away from the central government.

Peaks Island, perennially a hotbed of insurgents, has sought the aid of a leader of non-lobster province in its quarrel with Portland. The Chinese alleged that recent lobster-trap cuttings were done by special equipment coming into Casco Bay from outside sources, and also claimed to have evidence that suicide lobstermen men have training camps in the sylvan remoteness of Cliff Island. The section known as Munjoy Hill in Portland has increased the towing of motor vehicles, and there has been expanded ship movement by Casco Bay Lines since the weather eased.

It is likewise feared that Cape Elizabeth and Falmouth, who share with Peaks the sectarian Tax Avoidance Religion, have transferred substantial aid to the dissidents.

Unfortunately for G. Woo Pui, the opaque collection of nations dependent on handouts of fortune cookies, which was assembled four years ago and termed “Coalition of the Wanting,” has been slithering away, soldier by soldier, and desperate ricocheting around the world by his foreign minister, Fondi Fun, has not been able to staunch the desertions. Despite Fondi’s personable personality, world leaders have remained indifferent about Casco Bay .

Hostile remarks in the Casco Bay central government about chain businesses show a lack of stability, according to Chinese sources. G. Woo Pui sharply criticized the disrespect shown Koi fish (a cherished symbol of China) by armed security agent raids in an adjoining province

Commodore Flatley of the Casco Bay lobster fleet insisted that his boats were only exercising a practice maneuver against Massachusetts fishermen, who were known to take breeder lobsters. He said that lobster boats will not yield to Chinese Junks.

Lobstermen themselves, as usual, remained obstinate, argumentative and fiercely independent. To them, misunderstandings are a way of life. On the other hand, Chinese officials promise that any misunderstandings in the area will be instantly cleared up once the Super Junks and their escorting cutters arrive.

[ital]The moral of this fable might well be: People should be suspicious of people who claim to be interested in “preventing misunderstandings” when: (1) the preventers are the deciders of what constitutes a misunderstanding and (2) they arrive in your neighborhood in an armored Hummer carrying grenades.

Rodney Quinn, who lives in Gorham, is a writer and former secretary of state.