Some years ago, an English professor of economics formulated a principle so apt that it has become a gold standard by which employees are measured. It is known as “the Peter Principle.” It says: “In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.”

A look at the budget shortfall at the University of Southern Maine calls the Peter Principle to mind. While the term “employee” is not commonly applied to those occupying the princely suites of deans (who are said to cost the taxpayers 175,000 bucks a year) or various degrees of president – assistant? vice? (who must cost at least as much) – they are, in truth, employees of the state of Maine.

So, Professor Peter, somewhere in this organization are subjects for your evaluation.

First: Who failed to hear the bells sound the alarm? Who minds the everyday bookkeeping? Who was notified? What was done to correct the course of the ship? What is the USM contingency fund? Where does it come from and how is it replenished? Is it, or was it, invested in bonds? Who decided to use it and did he, or she, really have that authority?

Then, with those questions answered: After the USM monies were dissipated, what keen thinker or thinkers drew on the rainy day fund of the Super U in Bangor? Where is it actually located – in the Super U office safe? And what rate of interest was charged? Maine families would do well to find better than 18 percent on unsecured loans. Was the USM borrowing secured and if so, against what – the new parking garage?

In other words, when did it become evident, and to whom, that the fiscal cupboard was bare? And what action was taken?

There are more questions, but those can do for starters.

The trustee politburo, who themselves have failed to recognize any fiscal trouble signals for a couple or three years now, promise to sort out the explanations and to fix the blame. Like the little boy at Christmas, they plan to dig though the pile of manure hoping to find the pony.

First up among suspects must be the top dog, President Pattenaude. One might look to the captain when the ship runs aground. But the professor himself was unavailable during the early days of questioning, and the trustees chose to close their doors while he explained himself. Consequently, it is difficult at this time to nail him on the cross of incompetence. Plus the fact that he was just promoted (by these same trustees) to a still more princely suite at the Super U which would seem to postpone his Peter Principle evaluation for some time.

Well, then, if not the man in charge, who? Surely, someone has been asleep at the fiscal switch.

What do we hear from down at the ranch?

It seems that blame is already being fixed. Early reports from within this citadel of incompetence hint at two agents as the source of misery. First: Students. By not buying the product, they crippled the factory. They were invited to come – advertised, begged, offered the choicest of selections – but despite all efforts, students in increasing numbers failed to do their duty. They did not spend their tuition money. Meanwhile, even though the commodity was not being purchased year after year, management failed to cut down the production line.

Ah, so.

The second of these “causal agents” is the community college system, where students are enrolling in increasing numbers. These community folks seem to be producing a superior product, at least as far as the consumer is concerned. The fact that their product is less costly and, for most students, more applicable to their needs and desires is something to be considered much later – maybe after the pony has been uncovered.

Nor does it take a Iraq war planner to forecast the future. How long before we hear proposals to consolidate the two systems – with the small dog being eaten by the big dog? Assurances of administrative savings will be forecast, educational opportunities for Maine scholars promised and financial shortfalls will fade like Casco Bay fog on a hot day. One- hundred-seventy-five-thousand-dollar-a-year deans to milk the cash cow known as community college – community teachers and kids, run for your lives!

In the meantime. the pain might be treated with some folk remedies. A prize of two tickets to a reading of Professor Peter’s book is offered for the best suggestion.

Rodney Quinn, who lives in Gorham, is a freelance writer and former Maine secretary of state.

.