I’ve seen them and, I admit it, they scare me. And tick me off. Those ads….Why the heck is Tom Allen supporting legislation that would allow Mafia thugs to pull me out of a cozy voting booth, rip the ballot out of my hand and ask me why I voted for Obama and not McCain? And that picture of Tom Allen in the background, like some ghost laughing about this violation of my privacy. Creepy.

But what the heck are those commercials about, anyway? Well, let me wise you up, goombah. Those commercials are bought and paid for by the Employee Freedom Action Committee. What? You never heard of those guys? A group with a name like that has got to be a friend to the average Giuseppe, right? You want to buy a bridge in Brooklyn?

The committee is funded by one Richard Berman, an anti-union activist and Washington-based industry lobbyist. Berman must be a very busy lobbyist because he also manages the Center for Consumer Freedom, which criticizes groups like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, The Food & Drug Administration and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals among others.

As if being the capo of these famiglias were not enough, Berman also heads up the American Beverage Institute, a group that fights for your right to drive drunk, as well as the Employment Policies Institute, a group opposed to raising the minimum wage, particularly in the restaurant industry.

The Employment Policies Institute argues that increasing the minimum wage for waiters and waitresses would “drive the poor and uneducated” out of the job market. In other words they want to keep the poor and uneducated, poor and uneducated. And without health care.

I get the impression that these big business types would like to have an American workforce that can compete with the “third world” workers in an Olympic race for lower wages. That would explain a lot about our current economic situation, wouldn’t it?

These guys want us to be all scared and angry about Allen’s support of “card check” legislation, laws that will make it a little easier for workers in union hostile businesses to organize for better pay and benefits. Now why would some lobbyist group want us to be afraid of “card check” laws? Listen, you big jamoke, it’s because card check laws would enable unions to organize in businesses like Wal-Mart or McDonald’s, companies that have a history of threatening and intimidating any employees who dare to ask for health benefits or a cost of living increase.

That would mean more money in workers greasy little pockets and less in corporate shareholders’ stock portfolios. Lobbyists do the bidding of the moneyed interests, the big fish, capiche? You ain’t too bright, are you kid? Card check legislation would force employers to negotiate a union contract in just four months after a union is certified through card check or face arbitration, which will most likely side with workers in an unfair, unhealthy but highly profitable workplace.

So what elections are the Sopranos showing up at? The “elections” that the commercials refer to are the not-so-secret votes that workers currently need to hold in order to organize a union. These elections are not secret and the protocol allows opportunities for managers and supervisors to threaten and intimidate union supporters, usually firing them or worse.

It’s the company’s bullies who want to see how you voted, for or against organizing, not some union goodfellas. And that ghostly face over the election booth should be wearing a red dress and a pearl necklace. Susan Collins would like laws to stay just the way they are, in favor of the guys with the most money, i.e. not you. And definitely not the guy who says, “Welcome to Wal-Mart!”

The guys you should really be concerned about are not Brooklyn-accented Union bosses but the oily types who would twist things around to confuse us working slobs and do a smear job on Allen. And where does Collins fit into all this? Seems like she has some Washington lobbying mob doing her dirty work for her. It keeps the dirt off her gloves.