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DEAR HARRIETTE: With the sudden death of Prince and the potential that prescription drugs had something to do with it, my whole friend group is rattled. We are, of course, saddened about him, but even more, we secretly use a lot of these drugs for pain.

One of my girlfriends has chronic back pain, and I know she takes a hefty dose of oxycodone. Another is on antidepressants. And I sometimes have to take pain medicine for different reasons. All of us have occasionally taken these medications with a glass of wine.

I’m scared now about how much it takes to actually overdose. I always thought it was taking a handful of pills, like if you wanted to die. Now I’m learning that it is much more subtle than that. How can I bring this up to my friends to help protect us? – Pill Threshold, Washington, D.C.

DEAR PILL THRESHOLD: Start by talking directly with your doctor about the medications you are taking and the risks involved in altering the usage in any way as well as the effects that alcohol may have on them in your body. This is critical. Every person reacts differently to medicine, so you must find out about your own body to be safe.

As far as your friends go, you can share whatever you learn from your doctor and encourage them to visit their physicians. Generally speaking, whenever the warning on a medication says not to consume alcohol with it, you shouldn’t do it. Period. If you can’t help yourself, it is time to seek medical help immediately.

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DEAR HARRIETTE: My assistant works for me part-time two days a week. The other days, she works for another company with more rigid hours. I am finding that she is pretty lax about coming to work on time, and she often has other work up on her computer when I walk by. She has been loyal to me for several years, so I don’t want to fire her. I do need her to stop taking my kindness as permission to be unprofessional. What should I say? – Reeling Her In, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR REELING HER IN: Sit down with your assistant and ask her why she comes to work late and why she thinks it is OK to do her other work while in your office. Let her answer. Then tell her that you do not appreciate her lackadaisical attitude. As much as you want to continue to work with her, you need her to be on time and remain focused while she is in your office. Ask her if she believes she can honor that commitment.

Observe her to see if she falls into line. If not, this may be a sign that it is time to make a transition. If that’s your decision, talk to her about it.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


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