I was just returning from grocery shopping at Landry’s when I saw a large, odd-looking wooden object moving slowly in the direction of Libby Library. I decided to investigate the situation. I began looking for something I could use to defend myself if necessary. The closest thing to a weapon I could find was a rutabaga. Thus, armed with my rutabaga, I strode valiantly towards the wooden object.

As I drew closer to the object, I saw that someone was pulling it towards the library using a big wheel tricycle. That someone was none other than the library’s highly esteemed mascot, Libby Lobster.

“What the heck are you up to now, Libby?” I asked, unsure if I actually wanted to hear the answer.

“I just built this wooden replica of Millard Fillmore, and am delivering it to the library, where it’ll be part of our presidential election year display.”

“That’s Millard Fillmore?! It looks more like Murray Metzelkov, inventor of the sock dematerializer secretly installed in every washing machine.”

Just then several poorly nailed boards on Libby’s Millard Fillmore replica gave way, and several hundred seafood cookbooks came tumbling out, forming in a huge pile.

“What’s really going on here, Libby?”

“I wanted to make sure that no one got the idea to cook anything other than turkey this past Thanksgiving, so Popham Puffin and I checked out all the seafood cookbooks from the library. Now we’re just trying to avoid the overdue fines.”

“By smuggling the books back inside a trojan Millard Fillmore?! You and Popham didn’t have to go through all this trouble! Didn’t you know that’s it’s Fine Free December? All you need to do is donate a personal care item desperately needed by the Community Food Bank, and the overdue fines on books, DVDs, etc. will be forgiven.”

“All I need to do is bring back my overdue books along with a personal care item during the month of December, and my fines will be forgiven. I love deals like this because everybody wins!!”

“You got it, Libby! Now you, Popham Puffin, Lois Loon and Chandler can take ‘Millard’ over there down to the beach, and have your own version of Burning Man. Then, in a few days you can check our website or Facebook page for a listing of items the Food Pantry needs.”

“Speaking of Chandler, Where has he been lately, Libby?”

“He got a job as a krill census taker. It doesn’t pay well, but it’s steady work. Every time he finishes counting the last 10,000 additions to a household, out come 10,000 more of the little guys. I heard he’s been counting the same house for the last three months.”

“Poor Chandler, but while we’re on the subject, his plight got me thinking about next year’s U.S. Census. If you have any questions about the census process, or are interested in becoming a census worker, stop by the Library this Saturday, Dec. 6 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. when there will be a Census Information Table available in the Library’s Main Circulation Area”

Libby then turned to look at the giant, wooden Millard Fillmore and said “Ol’ Millard over there reminds me of the upcoming elections, which then reminded me that we should remind our gentle reader about the voting currently going on here at the library.”

“You’re right, Libby. We need to let everyone know that there’s still a few more days to vote for your favorite piece of art among the 50 outstanding works now on display throughout the library. We should also mention that all these fine pieces in this exhibit are the work of students from Loranger Middle School. The piece of art that gets the most votes will go on to become the cover for the soon to be published Community Resource Guide!”

“We should also let everybody know that the voting ends on Dec. 13.” Libby added.

“That just about wraps up things for this week. We’ll be back in three weeks with more exciting library news. In the meantime, please check our website, ooblibrary.org, or our Facebook page for updates about our ongoing activities such as the Book and Writing Clubs, and inclement weather closings. You can also get news about our Winter weather closings and delays by watching channels 6, 8 or 13. You can also find more adventures with Libby Lobster and his pals on Twitter or Instagram @ooblibrary.

Bob Cochran is a volunteer at Libby Library and jazz director at WMPG in Portland.

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