It dawns on you slowly and it’s annoying because you’re not certain of its origin: Was it something he or she said that bothered you or did you just imagine it?

Maybe you’re getting too sensitive in your aging process. You seem fit, physically and for the most part mentally, albeit for those short-term pauses, which I read goes with that aging reference.

Then you begin to realize that personal emails are getting fewer, replaced by messages concerning your hearing, joints, eyesight and thinning hair – Ugh! How about those television commercials for medications that have you imagining everything from early onslaught dementia to high blood pressure, and once you’ve taken this miracle drug you can skip along lovely paths holding hands with a significant other, presumably on the same drug?

Fewer social invitations don’t help either, though we can use the pandemic as an authentic excuse, even though there is an opportunity for contact with an old-fashioned phone call from a caller ID you recognize!

No, I suspect it’s much more convenient to email and less personal.

Hey, maybe that’s the answer, people are afraid to be personal anymore, to voice genuine feelings, it’s simply not cool.  Well, we are inundated with a plethora of social media, spewing fake news, basically just a lot of noise as far as I’m concerned!

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Texting, twittering, they seem to be the way to go these days: brief, quick and impersonal, easy to read and easy to reply or dump. We’re living in a brand new way of communicating with each other, detached but efficient.

Our new politicians are filled with promises of an “undivided” country. However, I’m concerned it’s going to take a lot more than glorified aspirations to bring our country together again, in a mutual understanding of what it means to be “One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” Intentions are one thing but strong, clear cut programs with strict follow-through are another. It is all about communication!

No wonder I feel shut out, as I seem in opposition to the present mode of communication. I’m closing myself off from this outside world I once admired and was inspired to respond to enthusiastically, and as eloquently as I wished!  Being born under the sign of Cancer does make one sensitive, moody, creative and with a strong need for comfort, be it with home surroundings, vacation spots or social engagements. Maybe I have a legitimate excuse for feeling shut out after all.

Or am I on a fishing expedition for a reason to explain a state of mind seeking satisfaction? It used to be a common expectation, at the end of a busy day, a job well done, high marks in school, a call from a distant friend or how about a great meal at a special restaurant … weren’t they all rewarded with a feeling of satisfaction? How about a handwritten letter, in a stamped envelope?

I certainly don’t want to become a nomad, or to be known as “peculiar,” or for that matter plain antisocial, but by the same token I also feel strongly about not joining the masses these days, even for the popular vote.

Guess it isn’t my imagination or age after all, just the circumstances that I will have to live with, and of course the feeling of being “shut out,” whether of my own doing or not.

Chin up old boy!

— Special to the Telegram


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