His poll lead has evaporated, his foe Joe has abdicated, his veep choice is a national joke, the ascendent opposition ticket is kicking his capacious rear, and with each passing day it seems more likely cornered old criminal Donald Trump will spend his remaining golden years fighting to stay out of jail.

How’s he holding up these days? Not too well, it would appear. Confronted with the reality of Kamala Harris and her America’s Dad wingman, Tim Walz, Trump hasn’t the faintest clue what to do. His sole rally this entire week is in reliably red Montana. His basic recourse is to melt down on social media and flee to the safe space of “Fox & Friends.” Someone in his inner circle really needs to step up and get him the mental health care he badly needs.

For starters, he just can’t quit Joe. He’s so nostalgic for the bygone days of a Biden matchup that he’s typing his demented fantasies for all the world to see. Earlier this week on “Truth” Social, he wrote about a non-existent “big movement” to bring back Biden, who in Trump’s mind would crash the Democratic National Convention and take the stage for another debate.

In his saner moments (grading on a curve), he’s trying to move on from Joe. He had lots of “thoughts” (grading on a curve) about the “Kamabla”-Walz ticket this week when he phoned in to the Fox & Friends couch mates, knowing full well that those lickspittles would let him rant and ramble with nary a challenging query. And that’s how it went.

For instance: “This is a ticket that would want this country to go communist immediately, if not sooner.” According to the voices in his tooth fillings, it is apparently “communist” to feed hungry school kids, offer people health care, offer paid family leave, offer child tax credits, expand background checks for gun buys, promote renewable energy, and allow women to make decisions for their own bodies.

For instance, referring to Tim Walz: “He is not where the country is, on anything.” The Fox hosts sat there, mute and enraptured. But it just so happens that the aforementioned “communist” policies — staples of the Harris-Walz agenda — have landslide majority support in the polls. This is the center of gravity in America now.

He also said that Walz is terrible on “security.” Which is a fascinating observation, given the fact that in 2019, when then-President Trump named some new appointees to the Council of Governors, a panel that advises the feds on security issues, one of the governors he chose was…Tim Walz.

Trump also said “the stock market will collapse like in 1929 if they’re elected,” which is the same thing he said about Biden, baselessly, on Oct. 22, 2020. The only reason he’s recycling his old doomsday mantra is because he has nothing new to say.

Meanwhile, Harris and Walz filled a Wisconsin arena to the brim. But Trump is on the case. He thinks he has found something to turn the tide. He has dispatched J. D. Vance to attack Walz’s 24-year service in the National Guard (accusing Walz without evidence of ducking service in Iraq), which is a tad odd as tactics go, given the fact that Trump faked a medical condition to avoid military service and said that STDs were his “personal Vietnam.”

The convicted criminal, who faces sentencing in New York on Sept. 18, has no idea what to do, and it’s joyous. There may be anxious times in the next 90 days, but for now, it feels so good to feel good again.

Dick Polman, a veteran national political columnist based in Philadelphia and a Writer in Residence at the University of Pennsylvania, writes at DickPolman.net. Email him at dickpolman7@gmail.com.