Becki Jo Kupel

SCARBOROUGH – Surrounded by family, Becki Jo Kupel passed away peacefully and for just a moment even the bright, snow-covered landscape and bluest sky dimmed, sucking the colors out of our lives. She is survived by her mother, Retta Muir; her sister and brother-in-law, Bonnie and Dick Larson; husband, Jim Kupel and their three children, Nate, Anna, and Tyler. Becki was a bright shining star – the brightest ray of sun, who shined down on every person in her orbit; who loved being a mother, a daughter, a partner, a sister, a friend and role model to all of those who she touched. She was the inventor of Beckinomics, a theory whose principles many continue to use in day-to-day life. A key element of the theory includes unconditional love and the ability to always be there for anyone. EVERYBODY was loved and she shared everything she had with everyone around her … without exception. She was a person who exuded joy, unconditional in her acceptance of people (except where she sees injustice), and wanted the best for others. When a neighbor needed before-school childcare, Becki insisted that her son join their family every morning for breakfast before the bus arrived. Neighbors would say the best sound at Higgins Beach wasn’t the ocean, it was Becki’s laughter – especially when she was out on the porch with Retta and Bonnie. Her distinct, infectious laughter was such that even on one’s worst, most trying days, you’d be hard-pressed to hear it and not break into a smile.As a strong powerful woman, her genius-level emotional intelligence, her beautiful smile, and laughter were always able to make others smile and laugh. Her light, laughter and joy, were her welcome mat. She was always so warm, welcoming, loving, interesting, inclusive and well, funny. Becki had a real gift of making you comfortable immediately upon meeting and being around her. She made you feel like the most important person in the room whenever you were together. Becki’s sense of grace and compassion are part of her legacy. Becki brightened any room she walked into. She created homemade Christmas gifts over the years, and her re-usable fabric gift giving bags are still being shared. The personal notes, birthday reminders, and annual works of art, which arrived each year in the form of her Christmas letter, demonstrated her skill and ability as a writer. She showed her love in so many ways, not the least of which was her exceptional cooking for family and friends. She was always going over the top with food from appetizers to dessert. Remember those yummy English muffins and breads? Becki loved picking strawberries and making homemade jams. Her prep work was awe inspiring. It gave her the time to just sit and be with you. She was also bossy, especially to Jim, but she was so sweet and appreciative in her bossiness that it was impossible to say no. Bossy with a laugh and a thank-you and a kiss from her heart. As we travel life’s journey there are those very few people who seem to be able to look directly into our souls and for some reason we let them. Their impact on our lives is not bound by time or distance but is with us all the time.Spoiling everyone with her kindness, compassion and genuine love, Becki was as vibrant as her electric lime-green Prius; an eternal cheerleader for those who needed cheering – not the kind with the little skirts and pom poms (although we think she would have rocked the pom poms). She could see the best and the essence in all of us, and then come along to cheerlead for that part she saw so clearly. Then we could see that essence more clearly in ourselves as a result. She was a scaffolding of support to those she held dear; the antithesis of a carnival mirror – she helped you see and realize your own greatness.Such a personality – big, bold, brave, compassionate, and embracing – needs to be experienced to truly understand it, but these words sent in condolence from her friends far and near perhaps capture her impact on this big wide world best of all!Time had no power over our love. Every time we got together, no matter how much time had passed, we always picked up where we left off. Her compassion could not be intimidated, she was vibrant without shame, and no matter the situation. The sincerity and care that Becki showed me throughout the years have stuck with me throughout my entire life. I loved coming to your house, having a whole array of breakfast food in the morning, exciting birthday party adventures, or just a calm home to relax in, brought me so much joy.She is the one who always said, “see you in the morning light” and now we all say that every day to each other at bedtime.She inspired me to live in the now, to be selfless and to be kind.Becki was everything I want to be: an awesome writer, amazing mom to her kids, a person who is kind to strangers, finds the fun in life and then plans it out for everyone to enjoy while welcoming everything with grace and love and light. She was an inspiration, a light in the dark. We agree with Emily Dickinson: those who are loved are unable to die. For love is immortality.Becki had a way of saying audacious things with such compassion and humor that it was endearingly disarming and simply opened the door for a deeper conversation.I’m thinking about the fun times and positive energy she brought whenever we would visit in Maine. She was brash enough to read sexually explicit passages from The Journal of Albion Moonlight in front of a college class. She was bold enough to seek out a marriage that worked with her dreams. With her husband Jim, she created the eighty thousand foot, broad-shouldered, Taoist mountain on which so many of us, who knew her, thrive. You say you can’t see it? Wait a second, take a breath, reflect, then its lines of compassionate stewardship will deepen into your vision, your memory. Becki created a sort of refuge for all that came into her home and heart. Her openness, genuine interest, wit, humor, smiles and cooking all came from the heart and created a sense of peace for all who entered.