When I worked at Current Publishing, a family of weekly newspapers covering southern Maine before the company was sold in 2015 to the Forecaster family of publications (which is now owned by MaineToday Media), we had a fun newsroom tradition of asking the Magic 8-Ball to predict events for the following year.
Reporters and editors submitted questions about news-related topics, and we’d run the answers provided by the Magic 8-Ball – a fortune-telling toy invented in 1950 and now owned by Mattel – as an editorial in the editions around Jan. 1.
Here’s Something is proud to once again revive this annual Current Publishing tradition. However, instead of using a real Magic 8-Ball with floating blue triangular answers inside, as we had in the newsroom, we’ll use the just-as-magical online Magic 8-Ball.
And, remember, while questions posed to the Magic 8-Ball are the handiwork of this columnist, the Magic 8-Ball is solely responsible for the answers.
OK, Magic 8-Ball, inquiring minds want to know:
Q: Regarding national politics, will Republicans resist President-elect Joe Biden as Democrats resisted President Donald Trump?
A: Most likely.
Q: Will Joe Biden’s son, Hunter, or any other Biden clan member under investigation by the FBI, get busted for tax evasion and collusion with foreign governments?
A: Better not tell you now.
Q: Will Joe Biden cede the presidency to Vice President-elect Kamala Harris?
A: Cannot predict now.
Q: Regarding Maine politics, will Gov. Janet Mills release us from the perpetual state of emergency due to coronavirus?
A: It is certain.
Q: Will former Gov. Paul LePage shape up to be the GOP’s gubernatorial candidate for 2022?
A: Yes.
Q: Are former Maine House Speaker and failed U.S. Senate candidate Sara Gideon’s political days over after orchestrating one of Maine’s most negative and expensive campaigns?
A: It is decidedly so.
Q: Regarding the Maine economy, will businesses shutter or move out of Portland due to the new, voter-approved $15 minimum wage ($18 during declared emergencies)?
A: Without a doubt.
Q: Will Maine marijuana businesses continue to double their gross sales in 2021 as they did in 2020?
A: Most likely.
Q: Will inflation take off because of Maine’s new minimum wage and pandemic-related stimulus?
A: Very doubtful.
Q: Regarding COVID-19, will Mainers feel comfortable to return to theaters and other public venues in 2021?
A: Signs point to yes.
Q: Will students be allowed to return to full in-person learning this school year?
A: Very doubtful.
Q: Will a new strain of coronavirus strike in 2021?
A: Outlook not so good.
Q: Will stores ever have full shelves of toilet paper and paper towels?
A: It is certain.
Q: Regarding sports, will Saddleback Mountain ski resort in Rangeley, which opened Dec. 15 after a five-year hiatus, enjoy a successful reopening season?
A: You may rely on it.
Q: With all hope lost this season, will the New England Patriots regain their former glory in 2021?
A: Most likely.
Q: Ditto Boston Celtics?
A: Very doubtful.
Q: Ditto Boston Red Sox?
A: You may rely on it.
Q: Ditto Boston Bruins?
A: Yes.
Congratulations, everyone, for surviving 2020, and have a Happy New Year. Here’s hoping we’ll have more fun in 2021.
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