Lynn Johnson’s heart breaks for the children who suffered at the hands of Jerry Sandusky, for the university she loves, and for Joe Paterno, the head football coach she admired.

“I’m so overwhelmingly sad,” said Johnson, a 61-year-old Penn State graduate living in Biddeford. Like many others in the vast Penn State community and beyond, she felt the sting of the penalties assessed this week by the NCAA.

“It feels like we all failed.”

Jack Cosgrove shares the sorrow for the young boys who were molested by Sandusky. He also feels betrayed by Paterno, the standard by which generations of football coaches measured themselves. Cosgrove, the head coach at the University of Maine, was one.

Sandusky was Paterno’s friend and assistant. Paterno, who died this past winter, did too little to stop Sandusky’s sexual abuse of boys.

“He’s fallen from grace with me,” said Cosgrove, who understands why the NCAA penalties were so harsh. The program’s loss of scholarships, loss of opportunities to compete in bowls, loss of revenue and loss of reputation really can’t make up for the violation of innocence.

“When you have high expectations for someone who always makes the right decision, and has values and morals you share, it’s a terrible feeling,” said Cosgrove, speaking of Paterno. “He shouldn’t get any breaks for what he’s done.”

Steve Bien-Aime won’t call the abused boys victims. They are survivors, he said. Their pain is his pain. Their healing will be Penn State’s healing.

“I think everybody aches,” said Bien-Aime, a 30-year-old doctoral student at Penn State. “It’s going to be different (when students and faculty return to campus for the next school year). We have to acknowledge that. I’m hopeful that the tragedy that happened will create an awareness so it doesn’t happen again.”

Johnson, Cosgrove and Bien-Aime don’t know each other. They are three voices among thousands who try to make sense of the vile acts of a predator, the cover-up and the severe consequences.

“I didn’t cry until they removed the statue,” said Johnson. She was a football cheerleader some 40 years ago in the era of Franco Harris and Lydell Mitchell. She cheered in three bowl games. On Senior Appreciation Day, Paterno handed her a miniature granite statue of the Nittany Lion, Penn State’s mascot. He thanked her.

“I didn’t like the statue of him, with his finger in the air. That was arrogance and that wasn’t Joe Paterno.”

She grew up in Pittsburgh and after Penn State was a television reporter in Atlanta for 34 years. She had her share of assignments that put her on the streets covering crime and bad guys.

“I don’t know why someone hasn’t killed Sandusky already. Think of what he’s done.” Sandusky was convicted, is in prison and awaits sentencing.

During a 30-minute conversation, Johnson struggled with her composure several times when talking about the boys, Paterno and the Penn State players who will remain.

“I feel so angry at the NCAA for putting (the penalties) on the backs of the players. What did they do? I’ll tell you this, there will be 107,000 people in the stadium for the first football game (Sept. 1 vs. Ohio University) showing their support for the players.”

That is the healing Bien-Amie spoke about repeatedly in a chance phone call. The campus and community are reconciling what little they knew last fall, when we all saw images of those protesting in support of Paterno and what was revealed in the Freeh report more recently, he said.

Penn State players can transfer to another Division I school and not be penalized by sitting out a year. At a Thursday morning appearance, more than 30 said they would stay.

“I saw that,” said Cosgrove. “It gave me goosebumps. Sometimes I don’t think this generation knows the true meaning of commitment. Those kids showed me they do. They must like each other. I initially thought there would be a lot of guys packing their bags.”

But not for Maine. “Penn State football is a different stratosphere. I don’t think you’ll see anyone fall from Penn State to us. You look at where we are and you don’t see any wow factors. Penn State recruits are used to a lot of wow factors.”

Cosgrove was in Baltimore this week for a Colonial Athletic Association media day. On his flight back to Maine, a fellow passenger learned he was a football coach. She asked him about the NCAA penalties and especially the stripping of 112 victories from Paterno’s record. The number coincides with the time Paterno was told of Sandusky’s abuses.

“I thought that and the removal of his statue was the harshest part of the penalties. Both were very symbolic, very personal.

“I’ve always said I had two favorite Italian philosophers.” Cosgrove was referring to Paterno and Vince Lombardi, the NFL coaching legend.

“Now I only have one.”

Staff Writer Steve Solloway can be contacted at 791-6412 or at:

ssolloway@pressherald.com

Twitter: SteveSolloway

 

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