Last week, a group of about 50 people gathered to remember Bonnie Hayes, the Westbrook woman who was recently killed in her home.

The vigil for Hayes at the gazebo at Riverbank Park was filled with messages of regret, but there was also a message of hope.

Those who had come out to honor the life and lament the tragic death of Hayes, killed by her boyfriend one week earlier, listened to these messages while shivering in the darkness on a cold and windy night.

Lois Galgay Reckitt, executive director of the Family Crisis Services center in Portland, asked those present who didn’t know Hayes to remember her as “a real person with friends, with family, with a life” and not just as a tragic reminder of the work left to be done against domestic violence.

“I didn’t know Bonnie Hayes,” she said. “But I knew her. And we (at Family Crisis Services) knew her. We knew 4,000 people last year in that situation in this community (Cumberland and Sagadahoc counties). And it’s a number that is way, way, way too high.”

Reckitt went on to remind those present that while bringing an end to domestic violence may be a daunting task, she believes the effort should continue.

“I started this work over 25 years ago, and I was very optimistic then,” she said. “Maybe I was very naive, but I thought that I would see the end of domestic violence in my lifetime. I don’t believe that anymore.”

But Reckitt said the fight against domestic violence was a worthwhile one. “I know we have made a dent,” she said. “I know that what we’re doing makes a difference. And I know that what each and every one of you does each and every day by speaking out, by helping your friends, by helping them reach out for help from us or somebody else, that you may be able to stop this kind of tragedy from occurring again.”

Jill Barkley of Family Crisis Services said Hayes “was not the first victim of domestic violence this year, unfortunately. I’ve worked with many victims of domestic violence already this year.”

“I spend most of my time trying to prevent evenings such as this,” Barkley went on. “But standing here I am filled with a lot of sadness that we’re here tonight, but I’m also filled with a lot of hope that we’re all here tonight. Because if we gather here together and take a stand against this, maybe we won’t have to gather again this year.”

Maine Commissioner of Public Safety Michael Cantara began his dedication to Hayes by reading off the numbers of victims of domestic homicide each year in the state of Maine since 1990, 160 in all.

“I too did not know Bonnie Hayes,” Cantara said. “I did not know most of the 159 other people, mostly women, sometimes men, sometimes children, who have been killed in this state in domestic homicide. But in a sense I did know them, and I believe we know them because they were all a part of our communities.”

Cantara related a story about how his own family was touched by domestic violence. “(The victims) were people much like my grandmother who lived for years in the city of Westbrook here who, in the 1940s, was also a victim of domestic violence right across the river, right across from St. Hyacinth’s,” Cantara said.

Cantara asked those present to work together to bring domestic violence awareness to the forefront of the community’s consciousness in the hopes of reducing the number of cases in the future.

“We can only make sure fewer people are killed, fewer people are hurt, fewer souls are robbed as a result of this crime,” he said. “By being committed as a community to standing against this crime. The pushing, the shoving, the threatening, the hitting, and the killing are something that we need to say no to and say no to out loud.”

Copy the Story Link